I'm most proud of....

Working with Chica to make her a better, happier, healthier dog



Hubby and I reaching out to be Uncle and Auntie to our niece

  

My wonderful Accountabilibuddy and all the fun we've had on the racquetball court

  

Facing my estranged family so I can be there for this little guy who is my nephew

  

Facing my silly fears and overcoming them one by one

  

Roller skating and attempting derby even though I hurt myself and had to postpone it



Jenny the wonder bike and all the adventures we had this past year

  

Trying new things even if I do look silly doing them

 

Completing my first ever organized bike ride allllll by myself (in the pooring down rain I might add)

 

The work I did on myself going through The Artist's Way

  

Finally doing Punk Rope classes in Seattle

 

Steve and all the participants for the Hot 100 Challenge

 

My favorite Big Girl Bombshell for all the progress she's made overcoming her own fitness fears this past year


What are you most proud of?

The Holiday is OVER! YeeHaw!

Lots happening and not happening. Changes are everywhere. Some successes some not so much. Where to start?

Punk Rope - I decided to let it be. Meaning? I'm not willing to sacrifice everything that I would need to sacrifice to make it as successful as I would like it to be. It's just not that important to me. Yes I enjoy it. Yes I worked very hard to get it. I'm willing to do it but not at the price tag it bears. The good news though is that I conquered the retarded fear and I feel a million times better now that I have.

Belly Dancing - I hated it. I loved it. It was strange and enjoyable, frustrating and liberating. Did I do it the justice I was planning? No. Not even close. Could I? Can I? Yes. Will I? No. There were just too many other things happening to give it my full attention. And, I'm not one to over share my embarrassments like many of the other bloggers out there. So...if you wanted to watch me get all dressed up and wriggle my jiggly bits well then you should have participated and requested it. You didn't..so I won't. Deal with it.

The Artist's Way - I will admit that I'm a little behind. The stupid Christmas bullshit got in the way and instead of just sticking to what worked for me, I freaked out a little and threw my comfortable routine right out the window. That included reading and journaling for a week. So, I'm starting week 7 today. More to come.

Challenges - I did not update the Hot 100 last week and I'm not going to do it now or anymore. I almost made it through the entire thing but I must admit utter failure. I don't have any good excuses nor bad ones now that I think of it. I just failed. I did not meet any of my goals. Not only that but I didn't come close to any of them either. NO weight loss. I gained a couple pounds back actually. No book. Didn't even finish the NaNoWriMo challenge. I didn't blog consistently either and I'm not sad about it.

Blog - You might have noticed that I've been MIA lately. I've had a bad attitude and took time away. Blogging has recently felt like more of an obligation and an empty one at that rather than the motivational tool it once was. The idea has been rolling around in my head to abandon it altogether. If it aint workin'... But instead, I've decided that I will do what I want, when I want, how I want, and you can either read it and like it or go away. This isn't meant to be mean or antagonistic at all. Well, that's not entirely true. It's meant to be antagonistic to me. I fear that I've been writing this blog for the past few months in hopes of getting more attention or more readers or more comments or whatever. I've been doing it for you and somewhere along the line, I lost my own motivation in there. I've removed the fluff so you are no longer going to be asked to vote, there aren't blog awards flashing or links on all sides. I no longer have a goal to blog a certain number of times every week or any other little hooks to try to get your attention or make you happy. Now...it's just me, exposed. Take it or leave it.

Activity - I'm still going to do my monthly activities for the most part. If I find something I like and want to do it longer, I will. If I find something I hate, I'll switch it up. My calendars are still posted and I'll still share my experiences with you. If you're interested, cool...if not, so sorry. Because the voting was tied, I just decided what I wanted to do this month and the winner is....

Now I don't want you getting your little feelers all hurt or anything. I still very much welcome and appreciate all your feedback and advice and questions and criticism. Believe it or not, I read every single one of them and take them to heart. My intention with the shift going into the new year isn't to alienate anyone but rather pull the focus back on to myself because I've been slacking lately and need a tighter leash now. That's all.

I hope you all enjoyed the worst time of the year and are back and ready to kick your goals back into high gear like I am. Failure or not...I'm back baby.

Fitness Fear Friday - Shin Splints & Hot 100

A week or so ago, I went to my gym and was talking to my favorite cutie petutie front desk boy there. He was telling me all about how he has started training to run a full marathon but that he's been having strange pains in his shins. In the past few years, I've had my fair share of shin grief so I told him about my experience doing the breast cancer 3-day walk a couple years ago and all the post event treatment I had to go through to recover from that. He got a congested look on his face and said "oooooo, ouch - did you have to go get shin splints? I think I might need to get some."

So obviously that got my wheels a-spinnin' just a little. Is this the picture he had in his head about shin splints I wonder? Or maybe it was the image of a couple sticks and some duct tape wrapped around his leg?


Leg Splint

Here is the definition according to Wikipedia: Shin splints is a general medical term denoting medial tibial stress syndrome (MTSS), a slow healing and painful condition in the shins, usually caused by exercise such as running, jumping, dancing or other sports. Ten to fifteen percent of running injuries are shin splints.

Shin Splints

What does all this have to do with me right this particular moment? Good question. I've got the damn shin splints again. I'm sure it's because I've been jumping rope a lot more than I really need to in order to teach the Punk Rope class and apparently...I'm fragile or some shit. In all honesty, it's not a surprise that I'm having pains in my shins again. I had problems during the breast cancer walk, I had problems when I started the C25K program earlier this year, I had problems when I took the Punk Rope instructor training. It's just unpleasant and I don't appreciate it much at all, especially when I'm trying to do things here.

My fear for today is that I will have to sacrifice something or multiple somethings in order to do Punk Rope.

• My shins of course
• The other exercise I do because I'll need to spend time every week recovering from the damage I do to my shins every weekend
• Alllll my time
• More of my own money
• My weekend freedom

My other fear is that I will have to sacrifice Punk Rope for those things listed above.

I don't know if this has any validity or not but I found this picture on a medical site that described some treatments for shin splints. Perhaps I'll give it a try and see how it works this weekend for my Punk Rope class. Other than that, anti-inflamatory, ice, and rest are the only other treatments I'm aware of.

Shin Taping

---------------------
HOT 100
---------------------
The OG
The Hot 100 Daddy
The Update

1. Weight - Now this is a strange one right this moment. I don't know what to say other than...huh? I stepped on the scale last Saturday and it said 162.4 which is pretty much what I was expecting. Then, because my normal weigh in day is Sundays, I decided to step on it to confirm what I saw the previous day and I saw 164.2. Very very strange considering that I burned 900 calories on Saturday doing Punk Rope and drank a ton of water and ate perfectly healthful foods. 2 pounds overnight? I don't believe it. So I'm suspending judgement until I step on the scale again this weekend.
1. Water - Not as well as I hoped but I'm determined to do it damn it.
2. Workout - This one sucks butt this week. I haven't been able to exercise at all because I've been limping all week long with shin splints. Anti-inflammatories and ice just aint cutting it yet.
3. Meal plan - Yes!
4. Tracking - Yes
5. Sleep - Yes, for the most part. I had a couple nights of tossing and turning but I'm not depriving myself of sleep so that's good.
6. Journal - Not too much, no.
7. Food - Healthful planned meals every day. Yay!
2. Blog - Yes
3. Book - Nope. Not even trying anymore.

Regardless of what my progress on the Hot 100 goals looks like, I'm feeling pretty damn good. I looked at my goals for 2010 a couple months ago and came to a nasty realization that I hadn't accomplished much this year in terms of being able to definitively cross anything off my list. I did become a certified personal trainer which was a weird thing for me and I did overcome one of my biggest fears this year. I actually did Punk Rope. I'm actually DOING Punk Rope! Just a couple months ago, I had pretty much written it off as a failed attempt and a reason to feel shame so turning it around and making it happen before the end of the year feels like a huge victory.

Victory lap! And the crowd roars with excitement. No? Just in my head? Whatever.


PLEASE

1. Vote for my January activity. Top right side bar, you'll find a poll. Vote vote vote! Pretty please.
2. Check out the Punk Rope Seattle facebook page and share it with all your friends. With a cherry on top.

Friday Follow-up Fitness Fear and other F words

Question for you! When you think of Living Active, what comes to your mind?

I ask because I've been asking myself that question for a while now and I'm feeling a little schizo these days. When I started this here little blog thing over a year ago, I did so for a few reasons.

1. I wanted multiple streams of accountability for my then new healthy living journey.
2. I wanted to journal in a way that seemed more user friendly to me than hand writing in a notebook every day.
3. I wanted to create and/or just be part of a community of people who all share the same interests in living a healthy and active lifestyle.
4. In soliciting your votes for activities I hoped it would turn into a group participation thing where readers would do the activities with me and we could have an open discussion about what we learn, what we think about different adventures, embarrassing stories, fears, etc.
5. In choosing a different activity every month, I hoped it would keep me from getting bored with the same old tired gym workout. You know the one? A hour on the elliptical followed by alternating weight training days with the occasional swim and sauna thrown in for good measure. That workout is all well and good but for me...it gets boring quick. When I get bored, I move on.

Now, I'm faced with a challenge. A totally new kind of challenge actually. I've been talking about Punk Rope for a year and if you've read anything I've written in the past couple weeks, you've seen those words a few times at least. In preparing to get Punk Rope up and running in Seattle, I started myself a little business so if I do end up making any money from this thing, I'm totally legit. My business is LivingActive LLC. So now...I'm faced with the decision about what I want LivingActive LLC to be. Do I want it to become a real business or do I just want it to be a silent shelter for my Punk Rope activities as more of a hobby? If real business is the way I go, what do I want it to be? What would my  mission statement be? What would my vision be? What if anything should I make it? I don't really want an answer to these questions. I think I just want to put the questions out into the void but I suppose if something comes back to be I'd be okay with that too.



HOT 100 Update #10
The OG
The HOT 100 Daddy

1. Weight - I haven't stepped on the scale in 2 weeks so I don't know exactly what it is right this moment. I have my normal weigh ins on Sunday's so I'll step on it in a couple days to see where I am. I suspect that I may have put 1 lb on in the last couple weeks. My guess is that I'm at 162 right now. I decided to revise this goal a little. Probably a good idea since I haven't lost anything in the past 10 weeks of this challenge. My new goal for weight is to lose 4lbs by January 1st. Assuming that I currently weigh 162, I'm just shooting for 158. I want to break through the 160 mark for good. That's what I really want. So...I'm starting fresh and I'm proud to say that this week has been stellar as far as my actions go.
1. Water - I'm not drinking as much as I want yet but I'm definitely trying and I'm tracking it
2. Workout - Um...YES! Actually, this week I had a huge record breaking workout. I did a practice run through a Punk Rope class with my Accountabilibuddy and Hubby and I seriously burned 895 calories in 60 minutes. Do you have any idea how crazy insane that is? You do now! It's totally crazy insane!
3. Meal Plan - Yup and I'm working on next week's meal plan today too.
4. Tracking - Oh YA! I started a new thing with this too. I've been using a local software program on my personal laptop to count calories and carbs and proteins and fats then I transfer that data into a huge ridiculous spreadsheet I created to track my diet and exercise every week. That process has worked pretty damn well for me so far but I'm finding it a little inconvenient lately because I've been all over the place and not spending too much time in front of my computer at home. So, I installed the SparkPeople app on my iPhone and have been using that. LOVE IT! If you have a SparkPeople account, what you update online will automatically update what you have in your phone and vise versa. So freakin' convenient. I've noticed that the exercise calorie tracker is WAY off of what my HRM says for calorie burn but other than that, it's been great so far.
5. Sleep - Sleep has been choppy this week. Why? I have no idea. Last night I took a Tylenol PM and passed out. It was AWESOME!
6. Journal - Every night before bed.
7. Food - PERFECT! I've stayed right on plan and right on calories all week long and I feel soooo good. Amazing what eating all whole foods all week does for the body!
2. Blog - Well, almost. I didn't do a Monday post but that's because the week kind of started faster than I anticipated. I've been feeling a little chaotic lately with all this Punk Rope, LivingActive LLC stuff I'm doing on top of the belly dancing classes, dog training, friend issues, family issues, holiday crap, blah blah blah.
3. Book - Let's just call this goal done for the year shall we? NaNoWriMo is over now and I never even came close to finishing it. What can I say? I'm easily distracted by shiny objects and Punk Rope and sequins from belly dancing costumes are far more sparkly than the blank page.

THE ARTIST'S WAY
I didn't do my normal Monday morning Artist's Way update this week so I'll just mention it briefly right here and now. Me thinks the Artist's Way is kicking my sorry sappy little ass all over the place this time around. I said in the beginning that I wanted to address the Punk Rope issues this time through. Ask and I shall receive. Nuff said!


OTHER STUFF

• Please show the love and support for Punk Rope Seattle by clicking the Like button on the Facebook link in the right side bar!
• Share Punk Rope Seattle with all your friends whether they are in Seattle or not. Pretty please? I have a little bit of info on the Punk Rope Seattle page as of now and will be adding more and eventually will have http://www.salinalivingactive.com/ up and running with all the info you could ever want. Or you can just go to http://punkrope.com/ for info from the Punk Rope Daddy.
• VOTE VOTE VOTE! January activity options are up and waiting for you to vote just above the Punk Rope Seattle Facebook Like link. Wow...that was a mouthful.

Oh and....I don't want to let you down when I threatened other F words. So....um....let's see...what are some other F words? Funny, flip, filth, fowl, flarn, fluff, foofy (is that a word?)

Flooded with What-Ifs

Today is a momentous day! A huge thing happened! Not just huge but HUGE. NO.....not even that does the trick. 

Oh YA! Oh YA! That's the stuff.

What's the big deal?

Hints...

I took the Punk Rope instructor training on November 1, 2009.
Then I got my personal trainer certification from the ACSM on March 19, 2010.

Since then...I've done nothing with either accomplishment. Instead, I distracted myself with all the other fun things I did this year all the while feeling disappointed and a little shame for not following through with the original goal. I invested so much time and money and anxiety into the process, it just felt disgraceful to let it go unfinished.

So I finally decided to do something about it. Yesterday! Today! And every Saturday at noon starting in December!

What: Seattle, Meet Punk Rope
When: Noon on Saturday, December 4th, 11th, and 18th
Where: The Queen Anne Community Center 
1901 1st Avenue West, Seattle, WA 98119, (206) 386-4240

If you're in Seattle or know of people in Seattle who would love to come and have a super fun workout, please send them my way (salinalyn@gmail.com). The first class is free to all!

Punk Rope  


I'm so excited (I could jump for joy) and ridiculously proud of myself for finally making good with this personal challenge. Where I stand today, I can't even imagine how I could be happy with myself had I not taken the steps to walk through all the silly and unfounded fears around Punk Rope.

What if you walked through your fears and found yourself waiting on the other side?

In other semi-related news - I am now the proud new owner of the salinalivingactive.com domain name. I don't have any hosting or website ready to go yet but hope to have it up and functional very shortly. Stay tuned...

Hot 100 - Week 7/ Feeling

Lonely

Confused

Unsure

Irritated

Lost

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOT 100


The OG

The Hot 100 Daddy

The Update

1. I haven't weighed in so I don't know. I feel huge.
1. Water - almost
2. Work out - yes
3. Meal plan - yes
4. Tracking - no
5. Sleep - yes
6. Journal - yes
7. Food - yes
2. Blogs - no
3. Book - I started off really good but haven't written much at all this week. I'm just a little behind in the NaNoWriMo thing.

Hot 100 - Week 5/ Fitness Fear Friday

I've discovered something about myself recently that I surprisingly never knew before. Now that I know it though, I can't believe it wasn't blindingly obvious to me before. And as if that's not enough to curl my nose, knowing it could have saved me a few bucks in therapy, a few nasty fights with Mr.SalinaLivingActive, and who knows how many missed opportunities over the years.

My biggest fear in the world is that I won't be good enough.

I just got done reading through my entire 12 week journal from doing my first round of The Artist's Way. The not-good-enough theme screams "LOOK AT ME" through all the seemingly deep issues I was dealing with which now look like nothing more than insignificant symptoms of the obvious.

The curse of the perfectionist strikes again. It's the black and white perception of the world that insists if I can't do something perfectly, don't bother half-assing it. Although I do partially subscribe to this "logic" I fail to see it as true logic without any editing necessary. Yes, I believe it's important to try my best and invest 100% of myself in everything I attempt but that's where it ends. The truth as I see it is that I can control what I do and how I do it but I can't control the outcome. If it's not perfect (by who's standards I don't know), it's not for me to decide or criticize. But if I've put my all into something then there should be nothing to regret or judge for that matter.

Conceptually, I get this and I believe it whole-heartedly but when rubber hits the road, the bitch in my head typically has a hay day. That's why I haven't started the Punk Rope thing yet (but am actively working on and will have more info for you all soon), I haven't touched my guitar in months, I haven't been back to derby practices or on my skates at all, I haven't started writing my book(s), I haven't finished my house so I can put it on the market and move to the city where I belong, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

For me, this fear of not being good enough has stopped me in my tracks and been the cause of much regret and disappointment. But now I know it's there, I hear the bitch in my head and I know she's just ill-informed. Armed with this education, I am now finally willing and able to face each and every point of contention one by one to overcome the lies I've chosen to believe and shut that bitch up once and for all.

What is your biggest fear?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOT 100

The OG
The Hot 100 Daddy

The Update

1. I weighed in on Sunday last weekend and it was 161.8. Ewwww. I blame TOM! I'll weigh in again this weekend and see what I see.
1. Water - getting better but still not 100%
2. Work out - better but still not 100%
3. Meal plan - Oh YA! Oh YA! A+++++++
4. Tracking - Oh YA! Oh YA! A++++++
5. Sleep - Oh YA! Oh YA! A+++++
6. Journal - I missed one day.
7. Food - Oh YA! Oh YA! A+++++
2. Blogs - Oh YA! Oh YA! Blogger maniac.
3. Book - Not as much as I had hoped I would work on it but I did work a little tiny bit so that's good.

I'm a work in progress...

Monday Mourning

Well that does it. The Artist's Way has come to an end. Yesterday was the last day of my 12-week journey to unblocking my inner artist. How about a recap of the last three months of my life.

When I started the Artist's Way, I was unhappy with my job, my income, my husband, my friends, my house, my city, my neighborhood, and my prospects for a different life. Whiny and complainy about just about everything.

I started reading and writing the daily pages and immediately the opportunities came a-knockin'. Two weeks, that's all it took for me to see HUGE changes starting to take shape in my life. And I mean HUGE.

• My marriage has a renewed sense of joy about it. Amazing that we are probably happier now than we have been in many many years together. Did I mention that he is going through The Artist's Way too?
• I talked to my boss about not being happy where I was and with the salary I was making with no other intention but to inform that I would be starting to look for different work elsewhere. It took a couple weeks for it all to come through but I ended up getting myself a promotion and a raise out of the deal.
• I decided that my biggest life dream was to be a writer and it seems that not but one moment after that decision was declared, the universe conspired to drop an opportunity right on my head. I wrote two essays for an author who is currently working on a new book of her own. After reviewing my essays, she decided that she will in fact use them in her book so it looks like I might just get something of mine published too.
• I was unhappy with my family situation so a series of events was set in motion and now I barely recognize my life and myself. My grandfather died, I went to the funeral where I saw my entire estranged family. I've reconnected with my brother and am actively trying to be Auntie Salina to his two kids. I've been in touch with my parents and my grandparents too. It's all very surreal and to be perfectly honest, slightly uncomfortable with where the boundaries lie, but altogether, it's kind of a miracle after 10 years.
• I reached out to my father in law to resolve whatever issues he and I have had over the past year. It seems that he is either unwilling or unable to respond though because I've gotten no reply to date. Looks like that one might just be a lost cause. The outcome doesn't define the success though,  not in my eyes. I actually reached out to him after shutting both my husband and myself out of his life for over a year now. I got out of my pride and out of myself and did the right thing by everyone. All I can control is me so in that sense, it was a perfect success.

There are still a few things on my list that I want to face and resolve a bit more conclusively than they were addressed in the past twelve weeks  though. I still want to finish the little touch-ups around my house so we can put it on the market in the early spring and finally move back to the city where we belong. My poor little guitar is still sitting in it's case all lonely and silent. She needs to come out and play. I still want to start writing more on a regular basis so I can feel like I can truly call myself a writer. I haven't made any progress on the scale either, so that's definitely on the list.

Yes, I'm mourning the conclusion of the 12-week Artist's Way program  because of what it has meant in my life. But, I'm not done with it yet. I'm going to start at the beginning again and end this year with a clean slate. I'm wiping the gunk from my brain and am going to set myself up for a screamingly successful year looking forward.

Living Active isn't just about exercise you know...it's about actively living our lives. For me to continue to actively live my life, I'm rededicating myself to another 12 weeks of the Artist's Way. If it can do what it has in the past three months, I can't wait to see what else can happen next.

Here's a challenge!
I challenge you to grab the book from the used book store near you and go through the process too.

Every week, I will dedicate a post right here about The Artist's Way and my progress. I invite you all to join me and do the same. I'll wait to start reading for one week so we can all start together. I will start chapter one on Halloween then every Sunday thereafter for 3 months will be the mark for moving on to the next week of reading. Who knows, there might even be a reward at the end for those who complete the process.

Who's in?


Oh and P.S. I decided to keep blogging. :)

Hot 100 - Week 4

The OG

The Hot 100 Daddy

The Update

1. I did not weigh in. Nope, not at all. I wasn't even tempted by the scale. I know I should probably do it just to keep track of my progress or lack thereof but I just haven't really cared about much in the past week or 3. I totally slacked out on pretty much everything this week...and last week...and the week before. Damn, I'm on a roll. Time to pull my big girl britches up and get back to work.
1. Water - I tried harder to drink more water this week but I doubt it was enough.
2. Work out - I'm sorry to say that I didn't get my 5 workouts in. Sad panda.
3. Meal plan - Oh YA! Oh YA! I planned and I cooked and I ate the planned meals.
4. Tracking - Not even a little.
5. Sleep - Yes. Finally, I'm sleeping again. Hallelujah!
6. Journal - Oh YA! Oh YA! I wrote every day.
7. Food - For the most part, it was perfect since I followed my meal plan but I must confess that I had Bailey's in my coffee a couple mornings. Shhh..... :)
2. Blogs - Um....Not even a little, incase you didn't notice. Here's the thing with the blog lately. I just don't care. Ok, that didn't come out right. I care about all of you that read and I really don't want to let you down but sitting down to write a blog is something that just hasn't been fun or interesting to me lately. I just don't care about the blog itself or the content right now. I don't think it's the blog's fault, I just think I haven't been caring about much lately. Why? I really don't know. I have suspicions but nothing concrete. I've actually been tossing around the idea of retiring the blog writing indefinitely. Originally, I started this blog with the intention of using it as my journal because I was finding it difficult to develop the habit of writing in an actual journal. Then I justified it even more with the added bonus of having a support network and people outside myself to be accountable to. Now, I'm writing in my journal every day and loving it by the way and I have the world's greatest Accountabilibuddy and I just don't really feel the need to have an audience anymore. Am I just trying to self-sabotage? I don't know. I don't think so but it is a thought that has entered my mind. A question that deserves being answered I think. Feedback?
3. Book - Oh YA! Oh YA! I wrote on my little stack of note cards. Another idea that could be super awesome. A kid's book. Me? Write a kid's book? Um...weird but whatever.

Now for a little update on the belly dancing thing for the month. I'm very dissatisfied with the progress. The month is pretty much over and I have yet to get to a damn class. I've cheated you all and feel horrible about it. But because I really really do want to do belly dancing, I'm going to just wipe out the rest of the plans for this year and do belly dancing exclusively. The difficulty was that all the classes I could find were 6 or 8 week long sessions and I looked into them 1/2 way through a session so I missed everything. The one option I could find that would work turned out to be MIA. I went and it was not there. I don't know what happened. If it was a mirage or I just imagined seeing it online and paying for it or whatever but I have yet to find the damn place. So, I'll try again on Saturday morning and maybe it'll just appear. If not, I'm just going to sign up for one of those sessions I found and do it for the months of November and December. Then I'll do the martial arts and/or boxing after the first of the year. We shall see!

Hot 100 - Week 3

The OG

The Hot 100 Daddy

The Update

1. Weigh in on Sunday, October 10th at 160 even. That's 1 lb less than last week's 2lb gain. I'm almost back to the 150s again. I think I can I think I can I think I can.
1. Water - Um....nope
2. Work out 5 days - Um....nope. I wasn't feeling well.
3. Meal plan - Um....nope.
4. Track food - Um....nope. Okay...kinda. But not every day.
5. Sleep - Um...Yep.
6. Journal - Um....Yep.
7. Food choices - Um....Yep. I did have the Greek feast too and it was fabulous.
2. 3 Blogs - Um...nope. I'm up to 2 with this one. Slacker. No, I was just super busy all week long with work.
3. Work on the book - Um...nope. No comment.

Hot 100 - Week 2

The OG
The Hot 100 Daddy

The Update

1. Sunday, October 3rd I weighed in at 161. Yes folks. I hate to say it but it's true. The little dip into the 150s was yet again a temporary thing. Seems that I lost 2lbs in one week then gained them all back in one week. Not sure what that's all about but it's true none the less. Personally, I think it's all about my head. I think there's something in my silly little brain that says "Hey, you're in the 150s again...way to go...now you can relax a little....go have a beer and some southwest egg rolls....no problemo". And I go: "Really? RAD!". Der D Der.
1. I didn't drink enough water again although I was trying....well half the time.
2. I worked out 4 days instead of 5.
3. I did meal plan but didn't follow it as closely as I would have liked.
4. I tracked but only loosely.
5. Sleep has been strained. Not sure why but even with Tylenol PM...I still woke up in the middle of the night. More exercise should fix that.
6. I'm happy to report that I have successfully journaled every day and coincidentally, I'm in much better spirits this week. Funny how that works.
7. I didn't take the Oktoberfest free day as planned because when we got to the festivities...IT SUCKED. So we just turned around and came home. No beer or brauts for me. Probably better than way. I do have my Greek cooking day tomorrow though. Looking forward to it. Ooooopa!
2. Wrote 3 blogs this week. Success! I had a slow start in the week though so I didn't do a Monday post but whatever. I do what I can in as little time as I have.
3. The writing work on the book is still on my wish list and not on my schedule. But after doing a little thinking this week, I decided that I need to put it on my schedule. Time to write and allow myself to be creative in between all my scheduled TO-DOs. Good plan.

Hot 100 - Week 1

Update time ladies and dudes.

Ready for it?

Ready?

My Goals

My Update

1. On September 20, I said I wanted to lose 1 lb every week. I weighed in on Sunday the 26th a whole 2 lbs lighter than before. 2 lbs. WoooooHoooo! Numbers are good so in the name of full disclosure: I weighed 161 on the 19th and 159 on the 26th.


1. Barely drank enough water though I'm trying.
2. Did not work out 5 days. I did however go for a nice bike ride and did a lot of house and yard work but the gym has been sadly missing me.
3. Meal plan? Bah... I'm going to get a hold of this little action this weekend though.
4. No tracking to speak of. Oops.
5. Sleep has been horrible. Maybe 6 hours if I'm lucky. No bueno for me.
6. Journal has been collecting dust for much of the week. I wrote on Monday, then nothing until last night. It's the sleep deprived thing. Oh ya, and I watched a movie instead. Choices.
7. Food choices were decent. I didn't go to Oktoberfest on the 25th as I planned though. I skipped that one in exchange for a bigger better beerfest in Leavenworth this weekend. Yay BEER!


2. I only wrote 2 blogs this week. Well, actually this one would make 3 so I guess I did it. Just not how I planned. Whatever.
3. I did not work on my book this week either. No writing means no writing. And to be totally honest with y'all, I'm feeling it in my attitude and my mood and my spirit. I'm just one of those weird writer people that needs to write to be happy I think.

In other news...
The polls have closed and I'm very disappointed in the turnout of voters this time around. 5 votes! That's all I got all month long. I think we can do better than that. Oh well, too late now. Here's how it's gonna roll:

October - I'm going to be a belly dancing mama and I'm not thrilled about this because I have a decent sized belly to shake around and I have horrid imagery in my head about it. But, I will follow through and report more specifically on my plans in my next post.

November - Will be some kind of martial art. Not sure which one yet. I'll be doing a bit of research to find something good. Or, if you have any suggestions, please let me know. I'm open.

December - I'm going to beat up on a punching bag as a boxer girl. Ooooo I'll be sure to have some super cute hot pink boxing gloves with skulls and cross-bones on them. Stay tuned for that as well.

Fitness Fear Friday - Punk Rope

Oh boy. Here we go again. I apologize in advance for the long post but I've got shit to say today. Read it, I promise you won't be disappointed.

Do you remember my references to Punk Rope over the past year?
This one, This one, This one, This one, This one, Oh and this one too

I must confess.

I'm a scaredy cat!

Scared of what?
I'm so glad you asked.
Um...total and complete rejection and humiliation...duh.

Elaborate please?
I've mentioned it before but if I must repeat myself, I must.

How about a quick recap?
Learned about Punk Rope from BitchCakes
Took instructor training workshop
Got my ACSM Personal Trainer certification
Started planning the logistics and stuff to bring Punk Rope to Seattle
Partnered up with one of the Rat City Rollergirls who I met at the instructor training workshop
Reached out to a couple YMCAs in the area
Got no response
Froze right there in my tracks

Thems are the facts YO.

But then there are some touchy feely kinda things that facts don't express...

It's the icky self doubt monster again.



Doesn't he make you just want to get out the color crayons and go to town? No? Just me huh?


I've talked all about the stupid negative self talk and beliefs I have about it before too.

Another quick recap?
I'm still fat and fat chicks don't teach aerobics classes
If I tried, no one would take me seriously
Just because I have a personal trainer certification, it doesn't mean I know what I'm doing
I don't know what I'm doing
Everyone who does know what they're doing are going to know that I don't know what I'm doing and I'll be a laughing stock
I have no right "teaching" other people how to exercise

Disclosure here: I don't actually think the above self-talk is accurate or helpful in any way. Quite the opposite actually. It's total and complete B.S.! All of it. Just crap!

The truth is:
So what if I'm still overweight. Fat chicks most certainly do teach aerobics classes and they can do it just as well as any skinny little gym rat. So there!
Well I'm not trying so of course no one is taking me seriously.
I know more than I give myself credit for.
Let them laugh if they're dumb enough to. Besides, it's totally unrealistic that people are going to point and laugh if/when I choose to fumble my way through my very first class as the instructor.
I have every right to do whatever I feel like doing because damn it, I've earned it and I deserve it.

If only I could get the truth to stick in my head.

I recently had a small series of coincidental events take place that brought the Punk Rope dilemma to the surface again. And I've been on this kick of watching for life's little opportunities then climbing on and riding them til they fall over. Oh and I should also mention that this series of events took place in a 24-hour period.

First event - My favorite Bombshell has been hounding me and nagging me and taunting me for months to do something with this Punk Rope stuff and so far I've been able to brush her off with the "ya ya ya, I'll get to it". Nothing personal...the power of fear is strong. I started thinking about all her little not so subtle hints recently because I've been slowly, one by one, facing some of these fears that have caused me to avoid things that I enjoy. I thought...perhaps it's time to think about Punk Rope again.

Second event - I write every single day now. Some days, I spend several hours spinning quips. I love it! LOVE! Love writing. But when I write, deep dark thoughts and feelings and ideas seem to just fall out of my head onto the page and there it is in black and white. It's hard to ignore what is staring you right back in the face. And guess what fell out and started playing the staring game with me? You got it. Punk Rope. Apparently, my brain decided it's time to tell me to get off my scared little ass and do the damn thing.

Third event - The morning after I wrote the glaring lines about it finally being time to face the Punk Rope fear, I opened my email and what did I see but a nice little message from Mr. Punk Rope himself. Psychic much? Get this coincidence! Not only was it a message that someone else had contacted him to ask if there are any classes in Seattle (since he has forwarded me about 3 or 4 in the past year) but this person is a writer for a newspaper in my area and offered to give a class of its kind some well deserved publicity. Um....ouch. That one smacked me right in the face. "Wake up STUPID!"

Fourth event - After reading the above mentioned email slap, I started thinking about where I would hold the class, how I would get it started, who I wanted to target to attend the class, what it would look like, blah blah blah. I found myself all confused and overwhelmed with the what-ifs swirling my brain into oblivion when I opened one of the blogs I check on a regular basis. There it was. Right there in all it's glory on Jack Sh*t's post of the day. Of course! Childhood obesity. Working with kids who want to get parents up off their mashed-potato lumpy butts and get their hour of play a day in. A class for kids and parents to play together. It's perfect! Jumping rope totally brings the kid out of any adult. It nostalgically shocks us back to grade school on the playground playing double-dutch and singing those creepy kid rhymes.

So obviously...that has to be the answer.

I've definitely decided that I must act NOW! I have to make this thing happen once and for all. I think it's going to be best to start it up with local YMCAs or already established clubs or gyms or whatever. But I have a problem and I want to ask for help. Here it goes.

1. I need help keeping my inner-bitch at bay. AKA - Encouragement.
2. I need help figuring out what to do to get started. Who do I contact? How do I contact them? What do I say? How do I prepare? Etc.

I'd like to ask everyone reading this to please comment, send me email, forward this post to everyone you know who might be able and willing to offer me any advice and/or ideas so I can finally face this stupid fear and finally make this thing happen. I really want to do this. I want to do this for me and I want to do this for the people (kids and parents) who are fat and frustrated and unhappy and want to learn to exercise in a fun way.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading and for being here with me through this journey.

What if I chickened out?

A few days ago, I started surfing online for organized bike rides around the Puget Sound area where I live and work. My expectation was that I would find a few but that I would have already missed them due to the rainy season upon us up here in the great Pacific Northwest. I was happily mistaken though. I found one in particular that was happening just down the street from me and it took place this past weekend. Without even thinking about it (or considering the weather report) I jumped. I registered myself and Jenny and we were ready to go.

Then I thought about it. I asked a couple friends if they wanted to go with me. They turned me down. I looked at the weather report and it called for rain, rain, and more rain. I don't have rain gear. I was invited to my grandmother's 80th birthday party the same day. I would most definitely be late to arrive. The course description for the 25 mile ride said to expect slight rolling hills. Jenny only has 7 gears and she's not so easy to maneuver up any steep hills and in my neck of the woods, "rolling hills" usually means "minor mountains". All of a sudden, I saw obstacles appear before me to pursue what I was originally excited about doing.

Here they come. Here come the self doubt, negative self talk thoughts again. I have no idea what I'm doing for an organized ride. Never done it before. And no one will go with me. What if I can't make it? What if it rains all over me? Do I really want to be soggy wet and miserable? What if I can't make it up the "rolling hills"? What if something breaks on my bike and I don't know how to fix it? What if I make a complete fool of myself? What if I stick out like a sore thumb because I'm surrounded by a bunch of northwesterners who live a bike life? You know the ones, the people who wear their full bicycle gear with their aerodynamic helmets, matching spandex outfits, and clicky shoes to the grocery store. What if I'm the only non bicycle obsessing freak there and they all point and laugh? What if they're all snooty eastside housewives who have private bicycle trainers and hire nannies so they can ride their bicycles with Mr. Rock Hard Abs?

But....there's the other side of the brain that started calling out the sissy in me. RIDICULOUS! What if I choose to stay home where it's warm and dry and comfortable? How proud am I going to be of myself? What about the money I spent on it? So what if it rains? Hello....I live in SEATTLE. It rains here. Big deal. So what if I do it alone, I'm a big girl. Since when have I ever been worried about being judged before? No need to start now. What if it will be fun? What if it will be one of those tiny little opportunities I've committed myself to take advantage of? What if I allow myself to chicken out?

Guess who won the argument?



Cheerleaders...and I didn't steal any pompoms



See the bell? I got a bell....finally. Love!

Funny. I couldn't go that fast if I was full speed down hill.

My flower. We all got flowers at the rest stop.

Soaking wet from one of the torrential rain showers

Just a flowery house somewhere

Look for the W with the directional indication so as not to get lost

Not sure if he was part of the ride volunteer staff or if he was just a cool guy beating drums under a bridge.

What if I finish the thing?

I ended up with a basket full of flowers because I picked up all the ones that others dropped

Notice the derby helmet, Via Spiga rain trench, and poka dotted rubber boots aka RAIN GEAR. I made do with what I had. I got soaked anyway but it was soooooo worth it.

This ride was by far the most challenging yet. I'd never done 25 miles before. I'd never done an organized ride before. I'd never ridden with traffic before. I'd never ridden by myself before. I'd never ridden in the rain before. I'd never done so many hills before. I'd never been so proud of myself for doing what would have been so easy to avoid before.

I can't even imagine missing the opportunity to feel about myself how I feel after having done this.

What if you face your fears and end up getting everything you ever wanted?