Do you remember my references to Punk Rope over the past year?
This one, This one, This one, This one, This one, Oh and this one too
I must confess.
I'm a scaredy cat!
Scared of what?
I'm so glad you asked.
Um...total and complete rejection and humiliation...duh.
I've mentioned it before but if I must repeat myself, I must.
How about a quick recap?
Learned about Punk Rope from BitchCakes
Took instructor training workshop
Got my ACSM Personal Trainer certification
Started planning the logistics and stuff to bring Punk Rope to Seattle
Partnered up with one of the Rat City Rollergirls who I met at the instructor training workshop
Reached out to a couple YMCAs in the area
Got no response
Froze right there in my tracks
Thems are the facts YO.
But then there are some touchy feely kinda things that facts don't express...
It's the icky self doubt monster again.
|Doesn't he make you just want to get out the color crayons and go to town? No? Just me huh?|
I've talked all about the stupid negative self talk and beliefs I have about it before too.
Another quick recap?
I'm still fat and fat chicks don't teach aerobics classes
If I tried, no one would take me seriously
Just because I have a personal trainer certification, it doesn't mean I know what I'm doing
I don't know what I'm doing
Everyone who does know what they're doing are going to know that I don't know what I'm doing and I'll be a laughing stock
I have no right "teaching" other people how to exercise
Disclosure here: I don't actually think the above self-talk is accurate or helpful in any way. Quite the opposite actually. It's total and complete B.S.! All of it. Just crap!
The truth is:
So what if I'm still overweight. Fat chicks most certainly do teach aerobics classes and they can do it just as well as any skinny little gym rat. So there!
Well I'm not trying so of course no one is taking me seriously.
I know more than I give myself credit for.
Let them laugh if they're dumb enough to. Besides, it's totally unrealistic that people are going to point and laugh if/when I choose to fumble my way through my very first class as the instructor.
I have every right to do whatever I feel like doing because damn it, I've earned it and I deserve it.
If only I could get the truth to stick in my head.
I recently had a small series of coincidental events take place that brought the Punk Rope dilemma to the surface again. And I've been on this kick of watching for life's little opportunities then climbing on and riding them til they fall over. Oh and I should also mention that this series of events took place in a 24-hour period.
First event - My favorite Bombshell has been hounding me and nagging me and taunting me for months to do something with this Punk Rope stuff and so far I've been able to brush her off with the "ya ya ya, I'll get to it". Nothing personal...the power of fear is strong. I started thinking about all her little not so subtle hints recently because I've been slowly, one by one, facing some of these fears that have caused me to avoid things that I enjoy. I thought...perhaps it's time to think about Punk Rope again.
Second event - I write every single day now. Some days, I spend several hours spinning quips. I love it! LOVE! Love writing. But when I write, deep dark thoughts and feelings and ideas seem to just fall out of my head onto the page and there it is in black and white. It's hard to ignore what is staring you right back in the face. And guess what fell out and started playing the staring game with me? You got it. Punk Rope. Apparently, my brain decided it's time to tell me to get off my scared little ass and do the damn thing.
Third event - The morning after I wrote the glaring lines about it finally being time to face the Punk Rope fear, I opened my email and what did I see but a nice little message from Mr. Punk Rope himself. Psychic much? Get this coincidence! Not only was it a message that someone else had contacted him to ask if there are any classes in Seattle (since he has forwarded me about 3 or 4 in the past year) but this person is a writer for a newspaper in my area and offered to give a class of its kind some well deserved publicity. Um....ouch. That one smacked me right in the face. "Wake up STUPID!"
Fourth event - After reading the above mentioned email slap, I started thinking about where I would hold the class, how I would get it started, who I wanted to target to attend the class, what it would look like, blah blah blah. I found myself all confused and overwhelmed with the what-ifs swirling my brain into oblivion when I opened one of the blogs I check on a regular basis. There it was. Right there in all it's glory on Jack Sh*t's post of the day. Of course! Childhood obesity. Working with kids who want to get parents up off their mashed-potato lumpy butts and get their hour of play a day in. A class for kids and parents to play together. It's perfect! Jumping rope totally brings the kid out of any adult. It nostalgically shocks us back to grade school on the playground playing double-dutch and singing those creepy kid rhymes.
So obviously...that has to be the answer.
I've definitely decided that I must act NOW! I have to make this thing happen once and for all. I think it's going to be best to start it up with local YMCAs or already established clubs or gyms or whatever. But I have a problem and I want to ask for help. Here it goes.
- I need help keeping my inner-bitch at bay. AKA - Encouragement.
- I need help figuring out what to do to get started. Who do I contact? How do I contact them? What do I say? How do I prepare? Etc.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading and for being here with me through this journey.