Wednesday, September 29, 2010

What-if we were all honest

Yesterday, I met some people. New people. I'm usually an easy going kind of person and am willing to accept whoever for whatever they are as long as they don't push their beliefs on me. But sometimes, every great once in a while, I have a strong reaction to new people. I get an overwhelming sense about someone that I just can't ignore. It's either an intense dislike for them or I decide immediately that we're kindred spirits.

I had a strong reaction to one person I met. The moment they entered the room, before they had even gotten close to me or in view, I had a feeling in my gut. It was like the muscles in my stomach all decided to hit the deck at once. Then the hair stood up on my neck. I swallowed the huge knot in my throat and scrunched my face in disgust as though I was rejecting a fowl smell.

My first impression was not a favorable one both intuitively and with what little interaction there was.

This person just happens to be a "friend" of one of my friends. I haven't been asked for my opinion on this person as is typically the tradition in friendville so I'm still safe. But it got me thinking...what on earth am I suppose to say to my friend if/when I'm asked for that opinion?

Am I to be honest? Or am I to give what I think is necessary to protect the friendship?

To be a good friend, I would have to say that I must be honest with my friend. When I ask people's opinions, I expect them to tell me the truth. If someone knew that my husband was being unfaithful or lying about something, I would hope that a friend would tell me. I know not everyone thinks like I do though. Others avoid the truth at all costs. They avoid the truth in others and they avoid the truth in themselves.

That brings me to another thought. What if we were all honest with ourselves?

Part of what I don't like about this new person is that I perceive them as being so insecure that they try and I emphasize TRY to put on a front of being tough and cool. I respect real people. People with flaws and strengths. People with opinions based on self awareness and education. I do not respect people who wear a mask. This person wears a very flimsy mask.

How can we as fallible creatures be expected to be honest with others when we can't even be honest with ourselves?

What if we were all just honest with ourselves about who we are and what we think, feel, and believe?

How would your life be different if you chose to face the truth about who you are?