Today, I want to talk about the secret sauce in my world. My secret sauce is all about the accountability. If left to my own devices, I may just choose to blow off plans for exercise or fitness of any kind if I just don't happen to be in the mood.
I felt the ugly little thoughts creep up this month for sure. Not only am I getting a late start on the month because I had no idea it would be so challenging to find a simple belly dancing class but it's also um...BELLY DANCING. Does anyone else get the irony of this or am I alone here? Somehow, I'm supposed to get excited to shake my jiggly bits and not only that but pay someone to teach me to shake them to music. AND as if that's not enough, I also have to put it on display for all you lovely people who I have nothing against but um...you're people. If I had the belly above....no problemo. But I don't. Mine has a little more to it than that.
Speaking of Fat Chicks Bellydancing
It would be oh so easy to just sit around and do nothing for the next couple weeks with one of the thinly veiled excuses we all choose to use. I'm busy. I'm tired. I don't feel well. I had a long, stressful day. I have company coming over sometime in the near future. I didn't get enough sleep last night. I have to cook dinner. I have to deal with the kids. I have to deal with the dogs. I have to deal with the cars. I have to go to the bathroom. I have to pick my nose. I have to shove my thumb up my butt.
It would be easy for me to get away with using those excuses for myself because I am a master justifier when I need to be. Well, that's true if I'm the only member of the audience but when I have to share my excuses out loud with someone or multiple someones, they don't sound so good anymore. And I then have the added mirror of the look I get back from the person or persons I'm blowing smoke at. For me...that represents a fear.
I'm afraid of disappointing people. I'm afraid of damaging my reputation of being responsible and accountable and honest and trustworthy. I might be kinda rude or bitchy every now and again but the people that know me, know that they can count on me. I do what I say I will do and show up when I say I will show up. Losing that image scares me.
So...having my Accountabilibuddy and having a team of support people here in the land of blogz who stop by and read me and vote for me and comment keeps me going. If I didn't have people outside of myself expecting me to show up, I wouldn't have any reason to show up.
It's a positive side of fear. So thanks for being here, it really does help me.
What positive fear do you have?
My belly doesn't look like that either and belly dancing and me don't mix as I just can't seem to like jiggling my jiggly bits :)
ReplyDeleteI loved this post as I could relate to it this past week. I made excuses for 5 days on why I couldn't work out. I could call myself a "master justifier" as well.
I would say my positive fear is also posting to blogland that I didn't do something I said I would do and everyone thinking less of me.
But I am honest - I posted, I fessed up, & I'm fixing it! And everyone is still supporting me because none of us is perfect. We all have "off" days. No one is judging... and if they are... well.... hmmmm... it's their problem (even if that is one of my fears - being judged in a negative way).
I started belly dancing about a year ago. Loved it! And I'm quite a bit bigger than you are now (though not exactly the size of the chick in the photo in the "Fat Chicks Belly Dancing" link on your post.) So, yes, I understand about the jiggly business and fear and intimidation. But I also felt somehow empowered and free while belly dancing, after the initial hesitation wore off. I hope you'll find a class you like. Keep us posted how that's going!
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