Today's fear is in direct relation to the activity of the month. AIRobics! Trampoline fun at Sky High Sports.
I was a little embarrassed to admit this but I now feel that I have no choice, since I'm on this path of self discovery with The Artist's Way and all. At the beginning of the month, I was really scared to go to the class by myself. I talked a good game, oh yes I did. I made sure that everyone believed that I was ready to face the class with the bulls balls in my tiny little hands. The truth though, was that I didn't want to do it all by myself. I was secretly ready to just not go if no one was going to do it with me. No one being my husband, Accountabilibuddy, or my very good friend TP.
Why? Why was I scared?
Truth: I was worried that I wouldn't be in good enough shape to make it through the class or that they would have us doing flips and stuff that I'm not comfortable doing. Now that I say (write) it out loud for all the world to hear (read), I see how silly it is. I mean really. I'm not an invalid. I'm a relatively active person, or at least I like to think I am. I may be slightly overweight still but who cares. I can do pretty much anything I decide I want to do. I might not be perfectly graceful or skilled at whatever it might be but anyone can learn to do pretty much anything if they want to bad enough.
Were my fears realized?
Absolutely not! I got through the entire class with ease. With EASE! It was actually easy for me. Oh it got my heart rate up there for sure but I in no way felt unable to continue or so clumsy that I would hurt someone else or myself. I will admit though that I was a little scared during the class when they had us skipping across multiple trampolines and bouncing off the wall trampoline then doing another lap. Let's see if I explained that correctly? I don't think I did.
The trampoline floor is 3 trampolines wide with 1 trampoline tilted against the wall on each side. Got the picture? Each trampoline is separated by a yellow cushion thing. So they had us start from trampoline 1 and jump over the the yellow cushion thing to trampoline 2 and again to trampoline 3, then to bounce on the tilted wall trampoline and make our way back to trampoline 1. Trampoline circuit training if you will. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to make it over the yellow thing and I'd fall flat on my face and make a fool of myself. Well, that fear was realized. I totally fell on my face a couple times and I did notice that I was the only one. But the shame of it all wasn't nearly what I had worked up in my head. It was really no big deal at all. Falling is just part of walking (or jumping in this case). It happens. Humans understand that. No big deal. I did the exercise. I got over myself. I had fun. I got a good workout.
That's usually how my fears go. I have them worked up in my head with a much more humiliating and horrifying scenario than what is realistic. Then when I face them, I realize how much I would have been missing if I gave in to the fear and never just rose to the challenge. That's what fears are anyway, CHALLENGES. I ask myself if I want to rise to the challenge or allow it to define my life experiences. Typically, I decide I'd rather rise to the challenge because...well...I'm a bit of a control freak and don't want anything or anyone to have control over me.
The times I've risen to the challenges, I find that I respect and like myself more. The times when I shy from the challenge, I lose a little bit of my soul. I bury a little piece of me with that fear.
When have you acknowledged your fears and risen to the challenge?
How did you feel about yourself?
What fears/challenges are you being faced with now that you would like to conquer?