First off, I was fat. FAT. I know what happens in my head about myself, at least what use to happen in my head about my former fatter self. My huge fear was that it was happening in everyone else's heads too.
- Oh look at that. The fat chick thinks she's gonna lift some weights. Hahahaha. Whatever fatty, might as well just perfect lifting that burger to your lips.
- I have no idea what I'm doing in here, and everyone else is going to see it too.
- Everyone's looking at me, everyone's looking at me, everyone's looking at me...
I think others talk to themselves like this too, to an extent at least. There are two ways that people can respond to this kind of taunting though: 1. They can cower and shy away from it and hide from the world behind their burger and bucket of french fries. 2. They can tell the world (and the bitch in their head) to piss off and do the damn thing anyway. I've never been one to shy away and cower so of course I curled my tiny little carnie fingers in to the palm of my hand, leaving one popular finger flying high for all to see. Then I marched my fat ass right into the weight room and did what I needed to do.
I'm sure there were some rhoided out freaks judging me all up and down and round my perimeter but I didn't care, judge away gentlemen. I'm sure they were all watching me to see what I was doing and what I was doing all wrong, but their fascination with me doesn't have to have any influence on what I do for myself. I'm sure they could all tell just how clueless and scared I was but I'm sure they got over it when they saw me come back over and over again. There were a couple times that some douchebag bitches tried to push me off a bench I was using or bully me away from a squat bar by asking me in mid lift if I was almost done (with a look of contempt in their beaty little eyes). My response was always the same and will always remain the same.
"I'm using that and NO I'm not done yet".
Girls have just as much right to be in the weight room as any of the muscle head retards grunting and groaning and posing in the mirror for themselves. Fat girls, skinny girls, short girls, tall girls, girly girls, old girls, new girls, clueless girls, and all other kinds of girls have every right to be in the weight room.
If you ever go to a gym where the inflated Ken Doll wannabes are mean mugging you when you walk into their territory, throw one right back at them with a snarly little smile just to tell them to Fuck Off. If they try to encroach on your little work out area, tell them to move. If they take a bench that you were just on, tell them you're still using it. You don't have to take that shit, you know. On the other end of the coin, if you don't know what you're doing and you want to learn, they're a great resource and typically willing to give advice too. Most of them can be really helpful and supportive if you give them the opportunity.
Weight training is really good for your body, for your metabolism, for your mind, and for your emotional well being. It feels oh so good to march into a weight room with confidence, knowing that you overcame your fears about it, knowing that you're doing good things for yourself and no one and nothing is going to get in your way...including yourself.