Yoga Ecstacy....and the yoga carpet thing

Turns out, I wasn't dreaming last week. It is a yoga carpet on the floor. From what I found after winning the argument with Google while searching for yoga carpet, carpet is the only approved surface upon which Bikram Yoga is to be practiced. It's apparently anti-wet spot, anti-bacterial, anti-mold, anti-fungus, anti-spore, anti-viral, and anti-germ carpet. Basically....it's outdoor carpet that claims to be super healthy. The carpet has no pad so it doesn't suck up the sweat from everyone. And apparently they clean it reguarly. That's all well and good but it doesn't make it any less gross.


Dear Bikram Choadsmoker,

You're an idiot. Carpet? Seriously? Nasty! I know that you became famous in the 70s when carpet was all the rage but times have changed. Carpet is so out. Perhaps you should revise your carpet policy. Consider properly laquered bamboo wood floor and throw rugs. Just a thought.

Sincerely,
Severely grossed out Salina


Now that I know I'm not insane about the carpet, I'm finally able to reflect back on my actual practice. I'm feeling a little jaded now that I've decided just how disgusted I am about the carpet situation but I'm going to try to keep a positive attitude about the entire experience rather than let a little shared sweat ruin it all. No promises, but I'll try.

The classes themselves aren't nearly as challenging as I was expecting. The room didn't feel smoldering hot or anything, the poses seemed much easier than I remember, I didn't need to rest at all throughout the 90 minutes, and was left feeling slightly disappointed. The thought of a nice shower to rinse off the sweat after peeling off my layer of wet clothes was ringing in my head though. Oh...the wonderful feeling of rinsing the sweat off. So fresh and crisp and clean.....ahhhhh.

SHIT! I forgot to put my towel in my bag. EEEEEWWWWWWwwwwww!

So what am I to do now, wash myself then run around the yoga studio naked to dry off?


I did notice a couple things that were really quite pleasant. I feel the need to bring some joy into this scenario here because I was just not feeling it.

Pleasantry #1: I was slightly grumpy when leaving the class because of the carpet thing which I just can't get out of my mind. It's burning a hole in my brain and I'm pretty sure I'm going to start getting age lines in my face from all the cringing and snarls I'm wearing. Hold tight, the good stuff is coming, I promise. So anyhow, I had to get some gas and while I was waiting for it to pump into my car, I looked at my phone and realized that a friend had called while I was in class. So I dialed her number and while I was listening to the rings, I had the conversation we were going to have already playing in my head that was going to go something like this:

• Hey, how's it going?
• Fine I guess. Just got out of yoga.
• And?
• Shit! There's carpet! So freakin' nasty. The class wasn't even very challenging. So not worth puting up with the carpet. And, AND to make it even better, I forgot to pack my towel so...
• That sucks, I'm sorry.
• Thanks. I feel like drinking now. Wanna hit happy hour with me?

But instead, I got her voice mail. I was fully prepared to leave a summary of the above conversation on her phone and insist that she call me back immediately so we can get drunk together. Instead, this is what happened:

Beeeeeeep..."WELL HI THERE HONEY BUNNY....GOT YOUR MESSAGE....CALLING YOU BACK.....LOVE YAAAAAA!"

Did you read that with a cheerleader kind of bubbly bounce to it? If not, you should try again to get the full affect.


Who the hell just left that message? Was that me? Where did that come from? I thought I was grumpy because of ---- well ---- the obvious carpet and towel problems I think I've adequately made you aware of.

Who knew I was actually happy? I sure didn't. But, I thought what the hell, might as well go with it. So from there on out, my day was just lovely. Strange but true.


Pleasantry #2: My eyeballs felt clean. I'm not messing with you. My eyeballs felt clean. Everything looked more crisp, colors seemed more vibrant. My eyeballs actually felt like I had just washed them out. I'm not talking eye drops feeling clean. I'm talking about the feeling you have after washing off a full day of working in the yard, caked in dirt and bugs nesting in your hair, scooping dog poop, on your hands and knees scrubbing toilets and floors kind of clean. Get the picture? My eyeballs felt clean.

I'm sorry I have to keep repeating it. It just sounds weird to me so maybe I'm trying to convince myself that I'm not making it up or something. Very strange sensation for sure.

My other senses felt a little bit more enhanced too, now that I'm thinking about it. I rolled my windows down as I was driving home and could smell all the little aromas of the city and the trees and the weeds growing along side the highway. The steering wheel of my car felt so smooth and my finger tips were like butter. Sushi dinner was just amazing too. I love sushi but dinner post yoga was just fanfreakintastic. The subtle sweet vinegar sushi rice and the cold texture of my raw salmon was unbelievable. Seriously!

I would venture to say that hot yoga might just be natures ecstasy.



Attention: Blog Note! 17 days left to vote for my June activity. There's currently a tie between cross fit and rowing. Vote Vote Vote!

Weight training and stuff like that

The first week of April activity is well underway. Weight training is the winner and I've got two workouts taken care of already. First thing first. I'm a planner through and through so I don't dare dive into my goals without first having an idea of the path I intend to follow. I've gotten into the habit of creating a monthly exercise calendar so I can be sure to get enough exercise in as well as the proper amount of rest for my muscles in between my workouts. So, without further distraction. Here is my revised exercise calendar.

You'll see on the calendar that I took care of a lower body weight training workout and an upper body workout already this week. It's true. That's what I did. Correction: That's what we did. We meaning Accountabilibuddy and I. Yes, I'm her trainer this month.

Here are the exercises we did. The weights referenced are what I did. Accountabilibuddy took it a little easier than that though. Especially for her first time in the weight room.

Lower Body Exercises

Upper Body Exercises

I've had this schedule of alternating upper and lower body weight training every other day for quite a while now. Of course, there have been plenty of weeks when I didn't follow it as planned for whatever reasons but for the most part, it works well for me. This schedule tends to give me just enough time for my damaged muscles to recover and rest before I engage them again and it allows me to focus my workouts so I don't feel scatter-brained in the gym.

I know that on lower body weight days, I'll be working quads, hammies, inner and outer thighs, calves, butt, and abs. I never find myself standing in the middle of the gym spinning around in circles wondering which direction I should go because I have a plan. Some days I do choose to spend more time on the machines and less in the weight room or vise versa but that's about the extent to my wondering around the gym. And even that has a purpose. Depending on the day, the time of day, and the time of year the weight room can be over filled with the idiot muscle heads who insist on grunting when they do 40lb barbell curls.

What's the deal with that by the way? I mean, I can do 30lb barbell curls with normal SILENT breathing, why does a rhoided out freak need to grunt out loud then drop the weights and pace back and forth in front of them like he's trying to psych out his opponent? Why? Why? WHY? I'll tell you why. There is absolutely no good reason for it. NONE! The reason they do it is because they're partially retarded. I'm sure of it. Perhaps instead of choosing to grunt while lifting, they should focus more on controlling their breath so they can get more oxygen to their tiny little deprived brains. Just a thought.

The first couple workouts went well I think. Well, I got good workouts from them. I burned a ton of calories and felt really good about working all the major muscles. And, I was/am really proud of Accountabilibuddy for hanging in there too. She was not in the mood to do much of anything this week. There may have even been a bit of whining. Just a bit. Nothing I can't handle. But, I'm very happy to say that she sucked it up and did the damn thing.

Toward the end of the lower body workout, we ended up over on the mats to do abs. Right next to the mats are a couple cardio machines. There were a couple women on the stationary bikes there while Accountabilibuddy was trying to get out of having to do any more abs than she wanted. While I was pushing her to do more, the onlookers seemed to get a little entertainment value from it. While they were up there on their little pedestals, peddling their feet oh so gently so as not to break a sweat, WE were down on the mat kicking our abs into high gear.

So you think that's entertaining do you, Unexercisers? I must say that I had the thought run through my head of confronting these unexercisers and challenging them to drop and show us how it's done if they enjoyed watching so much. I didn't though. I just looked up at them and chuckled. I behaved myself. That doesn't mean I'll be holding it together if/when it happens again though. I just love poking people. How very sociopathic of me I know. I just can't help it. When I see buttons, I instinctively want to push them.

Then we did upper body weights. Oh it was good. Accountabilibuddy actually hurt her knee again. She's got a meniscus problem. Little bugger. So I made sure to do all activities that would not put any pressure or strain on her knee. You know what that means? Bench press time! Ya baby! I love doing bench presses. We did bench presses and dumbbell flyes for chest work. I wanted to make her do pushups but that couldn't happen this week. Perhaps after her knee is healed. There's just something about doing upper body weight training that makes me feel powerful. You'd think I would get that feeling doing any kind of weight training but I don't.

What kind of exercise makes you feel powerful?

I have so much more to say about this and more but I think I should cut it off here for now.

Sneak peak on future topics
Other entertaining gym goers
Annoying gym habits
Not all cardio is created equal
Fear in the weight room
Motivation
Muscle soreness and recovery
Which exercises work and which ones suck
La la la, I can't hear you with my ear buds in and music cranked to 11


What other topics are you interested in knowing about my weight training adventures?

Jump Rope Ouch

Sorry for the delay in getting going on the month for Jump Rope. On Sunday, November 1st, I attended a workshop for a kick ass jump rope exercise class and it took almost an entire week to recover from the damage done to my calves.

So here's how it went.

10:00am - I arrived at the YMCA, found the room, shook hands, signed in, and did all the friendly introduction stuff. There were probably 15 people there, 3 of which were men.

10:30am - The demo class started. Yeehaw! Seeing that it was the day after Halloween, it wouldn't have been right to ignore the obvious theme opportunities here. Class started with a little warm up, just to get the muscles woken up and informed that they were about to have their little asses kicked something serious.

10:40am - This is a guestimation of course, I was far too busy to stare at the clock to know for sure. Time to start jumping over those ropes people. Just a basic little hop, no big deal. Hold it for about 2 mins. Keep with it, don't quit on me, it's just 2 mins. Have any of you jumped rope for 2 mins without stopping..ever? Give it a try and tell me how you feel.

10:43am - Time for some interval switcharoo stuff now. How about a few squats and various other calisthenics.

10:46am - Pick up your ropes and starta jumpin'. This time, on every verse of the Rob Zombie, I want you to switch it up. Maybe start with a basic jump, then switch to some cross overs, how about changing direction and swing the rope backwards, and continue that through the entire song. Nice job.

10:50am - Ready for your first relay race? No? Too bad...let's do it. Since it's Halloween and all, how about we use pumpkins. You know, the plastic kind with the black handle that you used when you were a kid for trick or treating? Ya, those ones. Run half way across the gym, place your pumpkin on the line, run the rest of the way, return to pick up your pumpkin and hand it to the next racer. Run run run. 3 mins. Nice.

10:53am - You guessed it, time to jump rope again. This time, we're going see how many double-unders we can do. Oh ya, you know what I'm talking about. Where you swing the rope twice under one jump. That'll get the heart rate up there if you haven't managed to get it working so far. Again, keep up for the entire song.

10:56am - Game time. Oh boy, time to rest? Not so fast. Game time in Punk Rope means you're going to be moving around at a vigorous pace for no less than the duration of the next song. This game is called witches brew. Fun game. And very very tiring. You wanna know how to play the game? Guess you'll have to go to a class in your area around Halloween to find out. :) Neener Neener.

11:00am - Jump jump jump that rope. This time, we're going see how fast we can jump to the fastest song in music history. Can you make your feet keep up with the nasty fast beat? Oh, and don't forget that you get to keep it up for the entire song. Oy!

11:04am - Another relay race? Na. I'll be nice and give you some calisthenics to do instead. Hows about a few push ups, squats, and so on. Ya. That'll do it.

11:07am - Freestyle jump rope now. Do whatever you want for the duration of the song. Fun.

11:10am - Another game. This time, it's ZOMBIE TAG while skipping of course, because that's what zombies do, they skip. :) So much fun. I feel like a kid again. I very very tired kid.

11:14am - More jump rope. Maybe we can play double-dutch or egg-beater now. How about jump rope baseball? Whatever works. Just jump rope.

11:17am - Time for a team exercise. This is fun, we can get creative. Yay!

11:20am - Okay, with 10 mins left of class, perhaps we should start to cool down a little. Do some upper body work, get that heart rate to slow down, do some good stretching, maybe a bit of abs. That should do it.

Congrats! You made it, if you're lucky. :)

Okay, so that was the first hour of the workshop. Now add 5 hours to that. That was pretty much my day, give or take.

My calf muscles were screaming at me all week. I think the real theme of the Halloween class followed me home because I was walking like Frankenstein until Friday.

The best thing about it is...I'm now one of the lucky few allowed to teach this class. So, I get to do it over and over and over to lots of other people. Yay! Now I need to work out the details and figure out when, where, who, and how much. Damn details.

Punk Rope Baby

I know this month is all about golf but I just stumbled on this.

Who has ever heard of Punk Rope?

It's a first for me.

I was reading Bitch Cakes archived blogs and came across this awesome shit. Check out her awesome blog.




I seriously MUST do this.

Kettlebells

I feel like I need to share another experience I just had. During the month of hiking, I did another activity too. I tried kettlebell training. A friend of mine has been dying to try it for a long time and because I'm such a good friend and because of this active lifestyle thing I do, I agreed to do it with her. And I was actually excited about it.

Here's how it went:

We arrived at the tiny little office space building and tried to get upstairs to where the "gym" was located. The elevator wouldn't even acknowledge that we had pushed the button requesting a lift. So my friend called the trainer asking how to get in the building. Unfortunately, the trainer wasn't so sure how to make it work either. Being the judgemental ass that I can be sometimes ;) I'm thinking "this ain't good". But I maintained my composure and tried to have a positive attitude about what my wonderful friend was getting me into.

We finally got upstairs after the trainer came down to let us in. There were 4 of us total: the trainer, her mother, my friend, and myself. And here it comes...another judgement. Damn! The trainer seemed nice enough but there was just something about her that made one of my eyebrows raise without my permission to do so. Oh well, keep my mouth shut and my judgements to myself. Perhaps all is well and this is going to be an eye-opening life-changing experience. I'm looking for the best here, can you tell?

The warm up was definitely the deal sealing judgement for me. This alleged warm up consisted of 12 minutes of bouncing and shaking limbs in all directions. I'm thinking to myself "why in god's name am I paying $20 for this?". Oh yes, I like my friend and I'm open to trying new things. Yes, yes, yes...that's right.

I have to say that before I even agreed to try this with her, I already had some reservations. I looked at a YouTube video of a kettlebell workout and wasn't impressed. I've learned a lot about working out and weight lifting and healthy living. I feel like I know enough to at least see something and adequately evaluate it as being a good idea or not. Well, when I first saw the kettlebell workout, my first thought was "that can't be good for the body". But...I did it anyway.

So the trainer started going over the basics of how to grip it and how to stand and the perfect amount of arch in your back...etc. It was then time to try it. I picked up my lovely pink kettlebell and swung it around a couple times. Not bad. I did it a couple more times...oooo....that was a little twinge in my lower back. Damn it! "Okay, how about we try another move" she said. I have an open mind and maybe she knows better. She is after all a trainer right. Um....

We went through the basic one hand deal, then the two hand deal, then cleans, then presses, jerks, overhead squats, and a weird plank position thing. Let me explain cleans to you a little here. Cleans are when you start with the one hand deal then you let the cannon ball with a handle flop on your forearm and you hold it there for an undisclosed amount of time. Why....I have no idea. But that's how it works. I was actually good at it I guess. I don't know how someone can be good or not at flopping a heavy weight on your arm repeatedly but I guess I had good form. Cleans didn't seem to hurt my back so I thought they were fine. Um...ya...NO. I had a 4" bruise on my left forearm and a 2" bruise on my right arm after doing the lovely cleans. I'm not a big person so 4" of my forearm is about half of my entire forearm.

Get the picture? No? Here are some visuals for you.

Tennis - Week 1

This was my first week for tennis lessons. Lessons are being held at a middle school just down the street from my house and they are open to people 13 and up. So I was expecting that there were going to be twenty 13 year-olds jumping around everywhere and I would be the only adult in the bunch. That image in my head alone was enough to make me second guess this tennis lesson idea of mine. But, I took a deep breath and told myself I was going to go through with it all the way to the end no matter what. If there were going to be a gaggle of tweens taking over the tennis courts then so be it. A little patience and acceptance and understanding and patience and patience and more patience never hurt anyone. Besides, I've been trying to be a nicer person anyway. So bring on the challenge.


I got to the court and the instructor looked like he's about 13. He’s not of course. I would guess mid to late twenties. There were two teenagers there already, siblings. So I introduced myself and shook everyone's hands. Right off the bat, the instructor took a look at my ancient tennis racket and started making fun of it. I got this racket when I was 10 years old for Christmas. It was my pride and joy as a kid. I even slept with the thing for about a week after I got it. And I've managed to hang onto it for 22 years. Not only is it three times heavier than any racket made in the past decade but it is also a junior racket so the surface area is severely lacking compared to what I should be playing with. Oh well, I sucked it up and was ready to move on with lesson #1. Another very shy boy walks on the courts, followed by a middle-aged couple. There were now six of us present and ready for our very first beginner's tennis lesson. I was pleasantly surprised by the small class size and the diversity.


Day one consisted of basic grip and tennis ready stance. We learned and practiced forehand, backhand, and volleys...oh boy. Alex, our instructor stood on one side of the net to feed us balls while the six of us stood in a single-file line on the opposite side. One at a time, he gently served each of us two balls to practice each move. We ran through the hopper of balls practicing our forehand then it was time to gather them all up and back to attention to move on to the backhand. And on and on it went for an hour. It was no military line mind you. The siblings were competing on everything and bopping around our half of the court while everyone else took their turns. For each ball that was hit, they took turns running after it only to hit it back over toward the instructor. That got old fast. But they were having fun. Eventually, Alex had to tell them they were being annoying and they stopped. I respect someone who just tells it like it is. Then there was the shy kid. He’s the kid that sits in the corner of a room avoiding eye contact with anyone and seems to just hope he can disappear completely. He was doing really well with all the shots but stood in the back of the line with his head down and his shaggy hair hanging in his eyes. I always find myself wondering what kind of adults these people are going to become. Will he snap out of it and be the next Bill Gates or will he be on the 11 0’clock news? I can only hope for the former. I also hope his parents don’t keep guns in the house. Oh, that wasn’t nice. See, I try but every once in a while they slip out. Damn!


Lesson number two was interesting. I got there on time and was the only one for the first ten minutes so I got a little private instruction until the siblings showed up. My husband and I smacked a few balls around the day before so I felt practiced and ready to go. It was me and the siblings for another 20 minutes or so, then the wife from the middle-aged couple arrived. She was alone. No husband. The shy kid was nowhere to be seen either. That’s probably not surprising though. Now that I think of it, he might have been there and I just didn’t see him. Oh well. For lesson #2, we learned overhead shots and serves. I’ve never had any trouble with serves. I have always done the traditional overhead serve and am pretty good at it actually. Well, as good as you can be without really knowing what you’re doing. So I wasn’t worried about these two new items on the agenda. Afterall, how hard can an overhead shot be when you’re use to doing the traditional serve anyway? Um…ya! I hit a couple overhead shots over the bathrooms and into the baseball field. I missed a few completely. I did manage to get one or two under control though. You know how everyone has their own weird things they do when they’re learning new things. In learning to play the guitar, I made all kinds of faces, still do actually. Now that I think about it, I do the full body flex on my guitar too. In learning to golf, I swore like a trucker on crack. Every other word out of my mouth was four letters. If I were to be bleeped my first few times on a golf course, you would have only heard “mother, piece of, god, wholly, for….sake, rammer, face, etc.” And that would be without taking a breath in between. Well, in learning to play tennis, I’ve apparently decided to start twirling. I take a swing (whether I hit it or not is another story) and promptly proceed to finish my follow through with a little spin move. Perhaps I should put a tutu on for my next lesson.


So now that I have two lessons under my belt, I’m feeling much better about everything. Well, that is except for the soreness in my left forearm (I'm left handed). I think I’m going to have to take a day off of tennis practice so I know that I will be able to hold my dinosaur racket next week for lesson #3. So far, the kids aren’t that bad and the instructor is someone I can respect. I’m having fun. I can’t wait to see what is in store for me next week. Scoring? Playing an actual game? Who knows.

Kickoff - Tennis

Deep breath in...deep breath out...

I've struggled with this active lifestyle thing for quite a while. I have dedicated myself to change only to eventually stumble and fall. I've always managed to pick myself back up and mend my wounds. Although I never give up, I also never quite maintain the level of dedication that I know I am capable of and that I desire so deeply.

Of course, I have had many reasons (aka excuses) for my failings. My husband isn't as supportive as I'd like. Afterall, he's the one that craves the sweets and has no problem getting up and running to the store for a late night ice cream fix. Never mind the fact that I take his spoon and dig in. And what about the friends that have come and gone in my life. Now I love my friends, past, present, and future but they haven't all been the most active people. Most of them have been more interested in meeting for lunch or drinks than in heading to the gym or a yoga class with me. I love lunching and drinks just as much as the next person but sometimes getting off my ass is what is necessary. Today, I'm blessed with a group of friends that understand this concept and we have been able to strike what I consider a healthy balance.

The truth of the matter is that I have struggled with the sticktoitivness. I can run on the treadmill like a mad woman. I can show that elyptical machine who is boss. I can swim lap after lap. I can hang with the muscle heads in the weight room and feel perfectly comfortable. I can make some very healthful and yummy foods. I enjoy all of these things and more. I love the healthy and active lifestyle. Then something happens, whether it's that time of the month or trouble in marital paradise or family drama or allergies. Something happens that takes the wind out of my sails and I lose momentum. I'll be kicking some serious ass for a month or two then I have a week or two of deflated motivation which seemingly negates the progress I just made. Essentially, I run around in circles chacing my own tail.

I think having goals is a positive thing and I encourage everyone to think about what they want for themselves and their lives. I do it all the time. I also judge myself very critically if I don't meet my own expectations. So, instead of reaching for that specific waist size or number on the scale, I'm dedicating myself...committing to just changing my lifestyle for good, one activity at a time, one month at a time.

My life, my body, my heath, my attitude today is not a result of who I am at this moment. It is a result of the choices I made yesterday and the day before yesterday. Tomorrow will be a result of today's choices. So I'm choosing to be active. I define myself as an active person. I am Living Active.

The activity for the month of August is tennis. I will take tennis lessons twice each week and share my experiences. The good, the bad, the horrible disasters, and the lessons I learn about myself along the way. Although this is a personal journey, I absolutely welcome anyone and everyone who may like to join me wheter in person or in spirit, you are all invited.

Ready, set, GO!