Friday, May 14, 2010

Yoga Ecstacy....and the yoga carpet thing

Turns out, I wasn't dreaming last week. It is a yoga carpet on the floor. From what I found after winning the argument with Google while searching for yoga carpet, carpet is the only approved surface upon which Bikram Yoga is to be practiced. It's apparently anti-wet spot, anti-bacterial, anti-mold, anti-fungus, anti-spore, anti-viral, and anti-germ carpet.'s outdoor carpet that claims to be super healthy. The carpet has no pad so it doesn't suck up the sweat from everyone. And apparently they clean it reguarly. That's all well and good but it doesn't make it any less gross.

Dear Bikram Choadsmoker,

You're an idiot. Carpet? Seriously? Nasty! I know that you became famous in the 70s when carpet was all the rage but times have changed. Carpet is so out. Perhaps you should revise your carpet policy. Consider properly laquered bamboo wood floor and throw rugs. Just a thought.

Severely grossed out Salina

Now that I know I'm not insane about the carpet, I'm finally able to reflect back on my actual practice. I'm feeling a little jaded now that I've decided just how disgusted I am about the carpet situation but I'm going to try to keep a positive attitude about the entire experience rather than let a little shared sweat ruin it all. No promises, but I'll try.

The classes themselves aren't nearly as challenging as I was expecting. The room didn't feel smoldering hot or anything, the poses seemed much easier than I remember, I didn't need to rest at all throughout the 90 minutes, and was left feeling slightly disappointed. The thought of a nice shower to rinse off the sweat after peeling off my layer of wet clothes was ringing in my head though. Oh...the wonderful feeling of rinsing the sweat off. So fresh and crisp and clean.....ahhhhh.

SHIT! I forgot to put my towel in my bag. EEEEEWWWWWWwwwwww!

So what am I to do now, wash myself then run around the yoga studio naked to dry off?

I did notice a couple things that were really quite pleasant. I feel the need to bring some joy into this scenario here because I was just not feeling it.

Pleasantry #1: I was slightly grumpy when leaving the class because of the carpet thing which I just can't get out of my mind. It's burning a hole in my brain and I'm pretty sure I'm going to start getting age lines in my face from all the cringing and snarls I'm wearing. Hold tight, the good stuff is coming, I promise. So anyhow, I had to get some gas and while I was waiting for it to pump into my car, I looked at my phone and realized that a friend had called while I was in class. So I dialed her number and while I was listening to the rings, I had the conversation we were going to have already playing in my head that was going to go something like this:
  • Hey, how's it going?
  • Fine I guess. Just got out of yoga.
  • And?
  • Shit! There's carpet! So freakin' nasty. The class wasn't even very challenging. So not worth puting up with the carpet. And, AND to make it even better, I forgot to pack my towel so...
  • That sucks, I'm sorry.
  • Thanks. I feel like drinking now. Wanna hit happy hour with me?
But instead, I got her voice mail. I was fully prepared to leave a summary of the above conversation on her phone and insist that she call me back immediately so we can get drunk together. Instead, this is what happened:


Did you read that with a cheerleader kind of bubbly bounce to it? If not, you should try again to get the full affect.

Who the hell just left that message? Was that me? Where did that come from? I thought I was grumpy because of ---- well ---- the obvious carpet and towel problems I think I've adequately made you aware of.

Who knew I was actually happy? I sure didn't. But, I thought what the hell, might as well go with it. So from there on out, my day was just lovely. Strange but true.

Pleasantry #2: My eyeballs felt clean. I'm not messing with you. My eyeballs felt clean. Everything looked more crisp, colors seemed more vibrant. My eyeballs actually felt like I had just washed them out. I'm not talking eye drops feeling clean. I'm talking about the feeling you have after washing off a full day of working in the yard, caked in dirt and bugs nesting in your hair, scooping dog poop, on your hands and knees scrubbing toilets and floors kind of clean. Get the picture? My eyeballs felt clean.

I'm sorry I have to keep repeating it. It just sounds weird to me so maybe I'm trying to convince myself that I'm not making it up or something. Very strange sensation for sure.

My other senses felt a little bit more enhanced too, now that I'm thinking about it. I rolled my windows down as I was driving home and could smell all the little aromas of the city and the trees and the weeds growing along side the highway. The steering wheel of my car felt so smooth and my finger tips were like butter. Sushi dinner was just amazing too. I love sushi but dinner post yoga was just fanfreakintastic. The subtle sweet vinegar sushi rice and the cold texture of my raw salmon was unbelievable. Seriously!

I would venture to say that hot yoga might just be natures ecstasy.

Attention: Blog Note! 17 days left to vote for my June activity. There's currently a tie between cross fit and rowing. Vote Vote Vote!