Proof is in my Pudding Thighs

In 2010 I began a journey with the idea that if I was just an active person, my body would naturally reflect my lifestyle and go from fat to fit without having to count calories or join a weight loss community or hire a personal trainer or a nutritionist or an endocrinologist or a neurologist or a psychologist or a hypnotherapist or a naturopath. I've said before that I think my hypothesis was flawed and the proof is in my pudding thighs, not to mention that I have had or still have every single one of those professionals working to help me realize my goal.

Have I succeeded? Nope! Not yet anyway. I'm still overweight and as frustrated as ever. I eat lean proteins, fresh veggies, fruits and berries of every variety. I stay away from baked goods, grains, legumes, sweets, dairy, coffee, and alcohol (for the most part). I have had a regimented exercise schedule for what seems like a decade. And yet, I'm still only about 4lbs under my max weight. If I eat a healthy, nutritious, and a well balanced diet while staying active and all those people with letters after their names have told me that I do all the right things, then why am I still fat?

Now, I don't know because like I said, I'm still overweight and still frustrated but I have recently had a revelation that may hold the answer. Here it is. I have a horrible belief no matter how much I would like to deny it that I will never lose weight. That's right. If I'm totally honest with myself and the world around me, I truly believe that I will never actually succeed. The Bitch in my head says all kinds of nasty things to me. "Honey, you're stuck, deal with it!". "You think you're actually going to succeed this time? Ha! Hahahaha! You funny lady!" NOT! "How many times have you tried and failed? Wait, how many was that? That's what I thought. Gooooooood luck, phfb...!" Seriously, if any other Bitch were to say shit like that to me, I'd tackle her and shove my fist through the back of her throat. Why is it ok for me to say that to me? It's just not acceptable.

One of those PhDs or MDs or specialists I listed above recommended that I read a book called You are Not Your Brain (sarcasm: although I can't understand why). The next day, I ordered the book and began reading it as soon as it arrived in my mailbox. What I found so far is that I'm far more neurotic and screwed up in the head than I ever thought. I mean, I knew I was a wack job. Kinda hard to avoid it when you come from where I've been. But I thought I had overcome the biggest demons already. How wrong I was. I've discovered now that The Bitch in my head is my biggest demon of all.

Apparently, our brains have a nifty little way of tricking us into sabotaging ourselves so that our beliefs are reinforced. If I believe I'm stuck in this fat suit forever, then my brain is going to look for any opportunity or evidence to make sure the belief remains true. Et voila! A fat chick who believes she's stuck being fat forever remains fat. It's a miracle. It's annoying. It's reversible. Hallelujah.

So now I'm learning what those negative beliefs are and what triggers them and where they come from and why. But more importantly, I'm learning how to change them and prove them all wrong starting with this one. That Bitch is going down and she can take my waistline with her.

Food Allergies

How are you bowel movements?
Are you regular?
Do you feel complete when you hehum move your bowels?

Those questions were only a few among what I had to answer not once or twice but three times recently. My nutritionist was the first to pose such questions. Then it was my magical Chinese acupuncturist followed by my naturopath.

I was happy to answer all the questions in the affirmative as all is normal in my life. But that's not something you want to know nor is it something I want to share.

In the spirit of integrative whole person naturopathic medical practices, my doc proposed that I submit my blood for a food allergy test. I've been extremely agreeable when it comes to my healthcare lately so of course I agreed to give up more blood even though I really didn't see the point of testing ME for any food allergies. I have never been allergic to anything in my life. But, according to my nutritionist, people can have a sensitivity to different foods even if it isn't obvious, if you know what I mean. And sometimes those sensitivities can impact your ability to lose weight. What, what?

So, I agreed and after a few extra pokes of the itty bitty butterfly needle because my veins are just that difficult, my awesome doc collected enough blood and sent it off to be tested. He told me it would take a couple weeks to get the results. That was just before Christmas.

Well, the results are now in. Interestingly enough, apparently I have or have had an allergic reaction to milk, beef, and lamb in particular. The results also stated that I show a sensitivity to all dairy, whole wheat, and gluten products. The news came as a surprise to me. I wouldn't think I have any of those things going on at all just by judging how I feel. But, doc suggested that I try cutting some of those things out of my diet for a few weeks then introduce them again. If I notice after introducing them that I feel sick or lethargic at all, I will know that the sensitivity is currently present.

I very rarely eat beef or lamb so those will be simple to eliminate from my diet. The problem will be the dairy products. I love cheese. I have milk in my oatmeal every day. I rely on plain yogurt as a staple snack.

Before even starting to reduce my dairy consumption I'm already feeling a void. But I've decided that I will give it a try. And I can still have goat and feta cheese so that's good news. I bought some soy milk and some almond milk to try.

I'm still not of the mind to remove gluten from my diet after reading about all the problems that can cause but I am willing to reduce the amount of gluten rich foods I consume. I've become willing to do just about anything in my power to tune up my immune system and be the healthiest person I can so we shall see how this dietary change will improve circumstances.

Maybe Just Maybe

I just met with my nutritionist last night. The first thing she asked me is what I found out about my thyroid test. I answered with parrot talk from my awesome new naturopath and the endocrinologist I saw as well. A slew of TSH counts and antibodies found fell from my mouth. After listening patiently, she said, "it's Hashimoto's disease isn't it?". Of course I confirmed and we concluded the diagnostic discussion with a high five over having something in common.

Now that's what took me by surprise. I had mentioned my plan to get my thyroid tested to her previously and not once did she inform me that she also has thyroid problems. Nor would I think that she does because she's thin, petite, fit, normal. Well after the tiny bit of shock wore off, I realized that if she has Hashimoto's disease and can be thin, petite, fit, and normal...perhaps there's hope for me too.

Maybe just maybe once my thyroid levels are regulated, this weight will start coming off like it should.

Maybe just maybe I don't have to keep fighting and struggling for seemingly no results.

Maybe just maybe I can start seeing results.

Maybe just maybe resolving this issue will finally allow me to breathe easy and stop worrying.

Maybe just maybe it means that I'm not and haven't done anything wrong.

Oh the relief if this really does prove to be a solution.

Funny? Every time I say "Hashimoto's Disease", it makes me think of this song...thanks to Hubby.

Hope

Struggling to get the taste of 2011 out of my mouth, all I have is hope for the future.

As I sit here running the memories through my mind of the last 360 days, I realize that this year has been one of the most challenging of my entire life, although nothing can compare to 1989. Puberty was a bitch! I'll just leave it at that.

2011 in the world of Salina has challenged everything I believe, everything I thought I knew about myself, my future, my friends, my family, my health, my priorities. This blog started as a weight loss journey under the concept that if I choose to just live an active lifestyle, my body will naturally reflect my choices and shed the excess weight. As the year comes to a close, I'm forced to pick up that measuring stick and look at where I've been so I can make a plan for where I want to go.

I started the year at 167 lbs. A hop, skip, and a KO later, here I am on December 28th and the scale reports 176 lbs. Was I perfect? Apparently not, but perfection is not a prerequisite for progress. I have gained 9 lbs over the last year despite:

1. all the food tracking on sparkpeople,
2. exercising 5days per week,
3. working with a nutritionist,
4. working with a personal trainer,
5. having the world's best accountabilibuddy,
6. taking vitamins,
7. drinking 60oz of water every day,
8. sleeping 8hrs every night,
9. journaling every day,
10. taking a 3 week long dream vacation to France

So what happened.....again? Stress! Stress! Stress! Oh and a couple medical situations. The more important of the two is a disease called Hashimoto's Disease. You can read about it at the link provided but basically my immune system is attacking my thyroid gland so it has to work harder and harder to process enough thyroid hormone, which it's not doing so well. It's easily treated with thyroid replacement though. Time will tell how it impacts my weight loss efforts.

Stress is the primary suspected culprit. I'm still undecided about disclosing to the internet what exactly has happened but for now I will say that I have had a medical situation rock my world for the better part of 2011. In addition to that and Hashimoto's, my husband and I had to deal with a significant death in our family. No wait, two deaths. Our dog died this year too. Sweet Pollyanna!

RIP My Sweet Girl!

I think time has shown that my hypothesis was flawed. If I live an active lifestyle, my body won't necessarily reflect those choices and shed extra weight. Unfortunately, I have found that there is more to the equation than that. Do I have the answers? No freakin' clue! Perhaps I do but I haven't yet figured out how to implement them in my life.

I don't see my "project" if you want to call it that as a complete failure over the past few years though. I have successfully built a life that I love and friendships that have saved my sanity more than a few times. Once upon a time, I considered myself a couch potato but today that is no longer true. Even with challenges in my life, I'm living active and actively living. I have not and will not allow a diagnosis, a disability, a death, or any other challenge life decides to throw at me keep me from living the kind of life I want and deserve. I just get to redefine the path I suppose.

Mother nature spontaneously sets fire to her beautiful work to clear the debris and make way for new growth. Perhaps that's exactly what she has done in my life this year too. All I have now is hope for a better future no matter what it brings.

Bio-Impedance Test

What is a bio-impedance test?

The long name is bioelectrical impedance analysis or BIA. The medical and fitness professions use it to test body composition. You know, how much fat versus lean body mass you carry on your person in addition to body water content.

Your gym may have a simple version that is a hand-held device which runs an electrical current through your body and gives you a percentage of body fat when it has completed it's process. I also have a simple version in my scale at home.

My personal trainer used a fancier system for which I had to adequately prepare myself.
Rule 1: No food for 4 hours prior to test
Rule 2: No coffee for 12 hours prior to test
Rule 3: Drink lots of water

For my first appointment with him, I had to follow the above rules then lay down on the table with my right foot and hand naked and exposed. Then, out came the machine.

It was at about this point that I started feeling like Frankenstein's monster....especially after my trainer hooked me up and stepped back a few feet. But there was nothing to fear, no pain, no discomfort, no embarrassing pinching of any inches (which is another way to test body composition).

I have a fat caliper at home that I can use in the privacy of my own bathroom with the door locked, the lights out, and the mirrors covered. Why? Because I have more than a little inch to pinch and no one needs to see that. That's why.

So anyway, the bio-impedance test only took a minute. After it read my body composition, it displayed a simple number on the screen which my trainer then took and plugged into a nifty software program that spit out a report which looks like this:

That was my results from August 15th which was my starting date.

Six weeks later (after skipping 3 weeks because I had to take a fabulous French vacation) on October 28th, I took another BIA test. I was nervous for this one around because my clothes haven't started feeling any different, the scale hasn't moved much at all, and did I mention that I was in France eating foie gras and baguette pretty much every day....

For as nervous as I was before the test, I felt equally as relieved after getting the results. So, the scale hasn't moved much. I've lost 1 whole pound in 6 weeks. But in reality, my body has started moving about 7 lbs in the right direction (4lbs of fat gone and 3lbs of new muscle here to stay). That's something to celebrate.

The results also surprised me. I wasn't expecting to have gained any muscle at all but rather just toned the current muscle tissue I have. To see that I was able to build muscle while also burning fat at the same time made me question some previous reading I've done. Have you ever heard of Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle? Well I have, and I've read it. Although I think it's mostly a sound book chalked full of good info, it misses on one small piece of information. It states that it is impossible to build muscle while burning fat at the same time as they are two opposing actions. Apparently that's not entirely true because I have just seen my body do both simultaneously. Interesting.....

Also, because I'm in the mood to give full disclosure, feast your eyes on these numbers.

Those are my measurements over the past couple years. Pay closer attention to the difference between August 15th and October 28th of this year. Oh ya baby! I'm shrinking. Love it.

Thankfully, there are more than a couple ways to measure success. I'm a numbers girl all the way but that doesn't mean I ignore the touchy-feely methods at all. I do pay attention to how my clothes are fitting and how flabby or tight my frame feels before and after working out. It seems that a hybrid method works best for me. If the scale is a lie (which is usually the truth) then I can rely on my measurements and the bio-impedance analysis with my trainer as well as the simple body awareness.

How do you like to read and track your success?

Nailhead meet Hammer

I wish I could consistently come up with a way to express what I'm thinking and feeling but sadly I find myself at a loss for words, or maybe it's not a loss but they are all just so jumbled that I can't quite get them organized. Sometimes I'm lucky though and I find others who have said it better than I ever could and I can just point to them and say, "what he said".

Well, I stumbled upon one such instance just moments ago. When it comes to the constant struggle of losing weight and finding that healthy balance in life, I just feel......What he said!

I've been up so high that I felt I'd never come down again, convinced that I finally found the missing piece to my puzzle. Then I'm woken by the thud of me hitting the ground yet again.

Lost 25lbs in 1 year. Gained 20lbs back in 1 year. Back to the starting line.

Blogging
Journaling
Tracking food and exercise every day
1,400 calorie diet with 50% carb, 30% protein, 20% fat
Exercise 5 or 6 days per week
Drink 60oz of water every day
Vitamin D
An attitude of gratitude is always a winner


The Activity Calendars

No exciting fitness plans for right now but I reserve the right to get bored with the plan as is and find something different to do. If you have any ideas or suggestions, please let me know. I could use a little support and challenge right about now.

Finding the balance

Time to get real with the weight loss stuff since I did claim this to be a weight loss blog once upon a time.

Before the 2010 holidays, I weighed in at 160 lbs.
Now, a year later, the same display shows 172.8 lbs.

What happened? Intuitive eating; I stopped counting my calories. That's really the only difference. Well, and the extended vacation from blogging but I don't necessarily see the correlation with blogging as the cause to regaining 12lbs. No, I think I just got complacent and maybe even lazy when it came to calorie counting and meal planning. Lesson learned. You can find me on SparkPeople.

I'm back in the thick of it though and finding balance is the name of the game. Back from a fabulous 3 weeks in Switzerland and France where I did not concern myself with a diet or exercise or calorie counting or work or family or anything of the kind. I visited beautiful cities and met wonderful people. That is another post though. This one is about the weight loss. Focus!

I briefly mentioned the current "program" I've enrolled in in an earlier post. Remember? It's the comprehensive weight management program benefit offered through my hubby's fancy new job.

26 weeks
3 meetings with the attending physician
7 meetings with the nutritionist
5 meetings with the behavioral therapist
64 meetings with the personal trainer

My first appointments with each of the professionals were mostly to establish goals and an understanding of my past, why I want to participate in the program, and what I hope to achieve. The physician started off with measurements, photos, and medical history which was to be expected.

The nutritionist I was a little more apprehensive about....simply because I had a nutritionist before and got absolutely no value from her. This one is different though. She read my food logs and talked to me about my nutrition and immediately suggested a few changes I could make.  The one tidbit that really surprised me was that I should try to get more fat from my breakfast. That was totally contrary to my normal routine of fat free, non fat, skim everything for breakfast. More fat for breakfast will prevent the cravings for higher unhealthy fatty foods later in the day so I can easily get through my day without looking for the cookies in the afternoon.

The behavioral therapist is just a normal therapist only she seems too young to be long out of school. Whatever, that doesn't matter. She's there to help me understand my emotions and beliefs about food and my body and exercise and just general mental health. I've had a few therapists in my time so this process is not new to me. I've been talking mostly about all the stressors in my life at present and how to (if possible) find a way to reduce and maintain a lower stress existence regardless of my life circumstances. The positive input I've gotten so far is that my concerns about having difficulty losing and/or then regaining weight due to stress can most definitely be an answer.

And that brings us to the personal trainer. My first appointment with the trainer consisted of a body composition test (bio-electrical impedance) to get a measure of fat and muscle content in my body. I have no idea what the little machine said when the test was over but I have a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't good because I get a hint of those numbers on my fancy scale at home. It's always good to have a benchmark though. I meet with the trainer on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays every week until the second week of December then I drop the Fridays and just see him twice every week until March when the program ends.

What I find refreshing is that once the program is over in March, it's not actually over. I will not be meeting with the trainer every week for my workouts but they do continue to follow-up for up to 5 years with clients to make sure that what was done in the program is being continued in real life. I am 5' tall and 172lbs so I'm easily 60lbs overweight. There is no way I can lose 60lbs in 26weeks, nor would I want to. I love that they will continue to keep in touch and do periodic follow-up calls/meetings to keep me on track as I shed the extra weight and maintain it over the next few years. I have a feeling it's going to be the best $1,500 I ever spent. Don't judge, look at all I get for that money. I dare you to price out just the personal trainer alone before you get sticker shock.

So there you have it. Opinions? Feedback? Questions? Let's make it a conversation.

Goal Setting

Goal setting theories are one of those asshole things.

You know, everyone has one.

Yesterday, I posted my #1 goal for the year.

Before I break down how I choose to attack my goals, I want to give you a bit of information about how others recommend we set goals.

Psychologists say that goals should be specific and challenging. Research by Dr. Edwin Locke back in the 1960's resulted in a lovely acronym for effective goal setting. He said that goals should be SMART.

Specific - Be precise in defining your goal. Make it significant! Make it count!
Measurable - Make it meaningful! There has be a way to define success.
Attainable - There has to be a way to make it happen. It must be within your control.
Relevant - Make it rewarding! It has to mean something to you.
Trackable - There should be a time set to it. Give it an end.

I'm a huge fan of goals. They help me feel organized in my life and in charge of my own destiny. Without them, I tend to feel chaotic and disinterested. Years ago, I felt that goals added a level of stress to my life. I did not enjoy defining what I wanted because if I was unable to achieve them, I felt deflated and that my already negative outlook on the world would just be reinforced. What I found was that it's all in my perception. I could choose to look at it that way which could be nothing but the truth or I can choose to look at it how I do now, and that is that goals help me get more out of my days, months, and years. Without them, I feel like time is just passing me by. With them, I feel engaged in my own life.

Goals are a valuable resource for building self confidence.
Thinking about your goals is just the first step in creating the life that you want and becoming the person you want to be. If you haven't been asleep or unconscious for the past year or two, you would have heard about the new agey stuff going around with the laws of attraction. Laws of attraction suggest that like attracts like. So if you are thinking and feeling not so good about you or your surroundings, you'll experience more of those not so good things to generate more of the same thoughts and feelings but if you think and feel happy and proud and content then more things will come into your life to support those feelings and thoughts. Setting goals, in my opinion, is just a tool to manipulate the laws of attraction in your favor.  

So here's how I do it.

I start with a spreadsheet because I'm a numbers nerd and I love spreadsheets. It's my thing, leave it alone. You don't have to use a spreadsheet, you can just write them on a sheet of paper if you want. I start with the weeks of the year across the top and group them by month then by quarter so I can see them at a glance or look at the entire year at once. Down the left side, I list my goals. I start with my ultimate goals for the year, then I break each of the year goals down into quarterly targets, monthly actions, and weekly to-do lists. Then across the page under the week/month/quarter that I intend to take the actions I defined, I will either put an X or a note to myself so I can track everything in one view on a timeline.

For Example:
Annual Goal - Weigh 120 lbs by December 31st, 2011 (I put it in positive terms to tell the universe that I don't intend to misplace the weight but shed it completely)
Quarterly Targets - Q1 Weigh 156 lbs by April 1st, Q2 Weigh 143 lbs by July 1st, Q3 Weigh 130 by October 1st, Q4 Weigh 120 lbs by December 31st.
Monthly Actions - Create new activity calendar with full exercise plan. January ice skating, February ballroom dancing, March push-ups.
Weekly To-Dos - Meal plan, grocery shopping, exercise at least 5x, do monthly activity 2x, track calories

For this particular goal, I have a daily to-do list that I keep as well because I personally need a daily reminder of what habits I need to maintain in order to experience the success I want. I shared that list yesterday if you want to refer to it.

I also make a note to myself on my goal spreadsheet to set a new goal every quarter so I have something new that is keeping me engaged in my goals and I have a reminder to review and evaluate my goals on a monthly basis so if I need to adjust them up or down, I can do that as the year progresses.

Calorie counting is one of those things that I do religiously. I tried to get away from it toward the end of last year but ended up putting a couple pounds back on so I'm back to tracking everything again. I've been using sparkpeople and love love love it. So easy to use. You can track your food, water, vitamins, exercise, and other goals. There are blogs and articles and tips and forums and groups to participate in if you should so desire. If you're a sparkpeep, look me up. Salinalyn.
Well, there you have it. Goals alla Salina.

Oh, and I just found this site too. I haven't signed up to use it yet but thought I'd share it with you.
Stickk.com
It's a free site where you can sign up and input a goal for yourself, define your referees or as I like to call them Accountabilibuddies and you can even pledge money to a charity as a financial motivator if you want. If or when you default on your goal tracking progress, the site automatically generates an email to all of your Accountabilibuddies to inform them that you've been slacking and if you have pledged cash, you lose the money or it goes to an anti-charity (something you don't want it to go to).


Do you have any special goal tracking methods that you just love and would like to share?

#1 Goal for 2011

Melt the fat like an ice cube on a sizzling griddle.

I officially started the weight loss journey in February 2009. "Officially" meaning when I began the consistent effort and not giving up even when I slip a little. I'm like every other person on the planet who has tried to lose weight and given up a number of times but I can honestly say that although I haven't gotten far in my journey, I have not given up, not even for a second. I trip and fall but dust myself off and get back to business every time.

February 2009, I weighed in at 178.6 lbs. For a 5 foot tall little thing like me, that's a lot of weight. I was consistently eating about 2,000 calories a day and although I was exercising, I was only burning an average of 70 calories above and beyond my basal metabolic rate (due to my inconsistent exercise habits). That just so happened to also be the month that I had my metabolic rate tested too. According to the calculations you get from the many standard charts out there in Internet land, I should have been burning around 1,850 calories per day at rest. When I got tested, I was burning 1,296 at rest. Then, they added another 387 calories to that to take my daily lifestyle into consideration. When all is said and done, I actually burn 1,683 calories a day just being me.

2,000   Avg. Calories intake (food I ate)
1,683   Avg. Calories I burned in a day just being me
-70       Avg. Calories I burned in a day on average from exercise
247      Avg. Calories I was in the hole on a daily basis

With those excess calories in my diet, I could expect to gain 1 lb of fat every two weeks.
Something had to change!

Here's what I did/DO:

• I altered my diet to eat whole foods and limit the processed crap.
• Reduced my calorie intake to 1,400-1,500 calories per day.
• 50% carbs, 30% protein, 20% fat intake which for 1,400 calories per day equals 175g carb, 105g protein, 31g fat.
• Drink 60 oz water every day (at least)
• Take Vitamin D - My doctor and the nutritionist I hired at the time informed me that vitamin d helps in weight loss. It also does wonders for mood and skin as well.
• Exercise 6 days per week burning 400 calories each session.
• Target heart rate - 140 beats per minute (75% of maximum HR = Maximize fat burning zone)
• Alternate days with interval training - target heart rate 125 bpm for 1 minute then reach 166 bpm within 30 seconds and hold it there for another 1.5 mins before letting it drop to 125 again, rinse and repeat for 35 mins minimum. This is GOLD for repairing a broken metabolism!
• Incorporate strength training to tone muscle (muscle is a fat burning machine) 2-3 days per week.
• Because I get bored easily, I started incorporating a different/new physical activity into my plan every month to stay interested and engaged in being active...thus was born Living Active.
• Sleep - Getting a full night's sleep is absolutely necessary to set me up for success. When I'm tired, I'm more likely to get moody and emotionally eat and less likely to plan or prepare healthful meals.

Here's the math: Calories Summary

1683 Maintenance Calories
1400 Daily calorie intake (16.8%/283 calorie deficit)
400   Calories burned w/exercise
683   Total calorie deficit per day
4098 Total calorie deficit per week (1400 intake, 400 burn 6days/week, 1683 calories on Sunday)
1.17  Lbs fat lost each week
1500 Max calorie intake 6days/week to still lose 1lb/week


From February 2009 to October 2010, I managed to lose 20lbs. That's 20lbs in 85 weeks. Yikes! An average loss of 0.23 lbs per week. That's definitely not the 1lb per week I was planning for.

Since October 2010 when I weighed in at 159lbs, I managed to gain a few back. Sunday, January 16th, I weighed in at 167.2. That's a gain of 8.2 lbs in 16 weeks. Um...ya...that's an average gain of 0.5 lbs per week.

So obviously I'm not perfect. What happened? Oh life. Life happens. Holidays, birthdays, fun with friends, laziness, illness, injuries, etc. Life! The point isn't how much or how little I accomplished, the point is that I'm still here. I'm still active, I'm still living the journey, and I'm still not giving up.

In the spirit of not giving up and redefining my goals for the year, I put this one on the top of the list. This year, I want more than anything to reach a healthy weight/size/shape for me. I don't want anything outrageous. Don't care if I'm a size 2 or if I've got a six pack. Don't care if I'm supermodel material. I just want to be healthy and happy in my skin. Because I believe in setting hard and fast goals that can be measured as well as attainable, I feel the need to assign a number to this here plan of mine.

A healthy person of my size and stature should be between 106 and 123 lbs. I've been 106 lbs before and I think I was probably too damn skinny because I didn't have any muscle at all. That's too small for me. I'll shoot for 120. If I stick with the plan to lose 1 lb per week, which is doable if I exercise regularly and eat between 1,400 and 1,500 calories per day, I could reach that goal by the first week of December. Is it challenging? YES. Can I do it? YES. Am I going to try? Absolutely! Will I be crushed if I don't make it? No. As long as I don't give up on myself, I'm happy being content with progress. Progress means I'll get there eventually and eventually is better than never so I'll take it. And in the meantime, I'll continue to enjoy this active lifestyle that is now the norm for me.

So there you have it.
My #1 goal for the year.
My justification behind it.
My plan for how it will be done.

Because I'm totally and completely analytical about this kind of stuff, I also have it broken down into daily habits.

EVERYDAY

1. Eat 1,400 calories (50% carb, 30% protein, 20% fat)
2. Exercise burning 400 calories
3. Track all food and exercise on sparkpeople
4. Drink at least 60oz of water
5. Take Vitamin D
6. Sleep 8 hours
7. Journal (feeding my soul is critical too)

What is your #1 goal for 2011? And how do you intend to accomplish it?

Kickoff - Tennis

Deep breath in...deep breath out...

I've struggled with this active lifestyle thing for quite a while. I have dedicated myself to change only to eventually stumble and fall. I've always managed to pick myself back up and mend my wounds. Although I never give up, I also never quite maintain the level of dedication that I know I am capable of and that I desire so deeply.

Of course, I have had many reasons (aka excuses) for my failings. My husband isn't as supportive as I'd like. Afterall, he's the one that craves the sweets and has no problem getting up and running to the store for a late night ice cream fix. Never mind the fact that I take his spoon and dig in. And what about the friends that have come and gone in my life. Now I love my friends, past, present, and future but they haven't all been the most active people. Most of them have been more interested in meeting for lunch or drinks than in heading to the gym or a yoga class with me. I love lunching and drinks just as much as the next person but sometimes getting off my ass is what is necessary. Today, I'm blessed with a group of friends that understand this concept and we have been able to strike what I consider a healthy balance.

The truth of the matter is that I have struggled with the sticktoitivness. I can run on the treadmill like a mad woman. I can show that elyptical machine who is boss. I can swim lap after lap. I can hang with the muscle heads in the weight room and feel perfectly comfortable. I can make some very healthful and yummy foods. I enjoy all of these things and more. I love the healthy and active lifestyle. Then something happens, whether it's that time of the month or trouble in marital paradise or family drama or allergies. Something happens that takes the wind out of my sails and I lose momentum. I'll be kicking some serious ass for a month or two then I have a week or two of deflated motivation which seemingly negates the progress I just made. Essentially, I run around in circles chacing my own tail.

I think having goals is a positive thing and I encourage everyone to think about what they want for themselves and their lives. I do it all the time. I also judge myself very critically if I don't meet my own expectations. So, instead of reaching for that specific waist size or number on the scale, I'm dedicating myself...committing to just changing my lifestyle for good, one activity at a time, one month at a time.

My life, my body, my heath, my attitude today is not a result of who I am at this moment. It is a result of the choices I made yesterday and the day before yesterday. Tomorrow will be a result of today's choices. So I'm choosing to be active. I define myself as an active person. I am Living Active.

The activity for the month of August is tennis. I will take tennis lessons twice each week and share my experiences. The good, the bad, the horrible disasters, and the lessons I learn about myself along the way. Although this is a personal journey, I absolutely welcome anyone and everyone who may like to join me wheter in person or in spirit, you are all invited.

Ready, set, GO!